How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 333

you are likely to get. In a conversation in which you are asking many
unstructured questions, the other person is likely to be doing most of the
talking. Along this vein, it is a good idea to ask open-ended questions. It
is too easy to respond to a question that can be answered with a simple
"yes" or "no." For example, instead of saying, "Do you wish you had
decided differently?" ask, "How did you feel after you made that
decision?" Then the person's answer can be used as a device to lead into
your more detailed questions — "Why did you make that decision?" or
"What do you wish you could change about your decision?" — without
your seeming intrusive.
A good rule of thumb is to start with the easiest questions first. You want
to draw your audience into the conversation and help them feel relaxed
and comfortable. People are encouraged by answers they know are right.
Begin the conversation by starting with a general topic instead of a
specific subject. You need to get the wheels in your listeners' minds
rolling before you ask them to answer the more specific questions.
One facet of questioning is the use of leading questions. Leading
questions are questions that give a semi-interpretation to your audience.
The best trial lawyers are experts at using leading questions to crossexamine and influence witnesses. Stanford professor Elizabeth Loftus
researched how leading questions influenced eyewitness testimonies. In
one project, her subjects watched a one-minute multiple-car accident. One
group was asked, "About how fast were the cars going when they
smashed into each other?" The second group was asked, "How fast were
the cars going when they hit?" The third group was asked, "How fast were
they going when they contacted?" The first group estimated that the cars
were going about 40.8 miles an hour, the second group estimated 34 miles
an hour, and the third group estimated 31.8 miles an hour.[19] The same
question led to three different answers just by using alternative phrasing.
Leading questions not only alter the way we interpret facts, but they also
influence what we remember. In another study conducted by Loftus, study
subjects who were asked, "Did you see the broken headlight?" were two
or three times more likely to answer yes than subjects who were asked,
"Did you see a broken headlight?"[20]

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