How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Page 227

a variety of feelings. When a person is aroused, interested, and receptive,
the pupils dilate. This is an attempt by the eye to allow the entry of more
light and more information. Being able to see each other's pupils is so
important to our communication that we often distrust a person wearing
sunglasses. Consciously or subconsciously, we assume that use of the
glasses is a direct attempt to hide the eyes in fear that they will reveal the
truth.
Making eye contact can also convey love or passion. In a number of
studies on eye contact and attraction, researchers found that simply
looking into one another's eyes can create passionate feelings. In one
particular case, two members of the opposite sex who were complete
strangers were found to have amorous feelings toward each other after
merely gazing into one another's eyes.[22] In another study, beggars were
interviewed about their "tactics" for getting donations from passersby.
Several of the beggars stated that one of the very first things they tried to
do was establish eye contact. They claimed that making eye contact made
it harder for people to pretend they hadn't seen them, to ignore them, or to
just keep walking.[23] Other studies have shown that public speakers who
make more eye contact, use pleasant facial expressions, and incorporate
appropriate gestures into their speeches have more persuasive power than
speakers who do not.[24]
Hands
The way we use our hands tells others a lot about what we are thinking or
feeling. For example, if your hands are tucked away in your pockets or
behind your back, you may be perceived as holding something back.
Clenched fists may portray anger or tension. Holding your hands up
around your face — over your mouth, by your ear, etc. — may portray
dishonesty. Stroking your chin shows you are thinking about what has
been said. If you place your hands flat on the table in front of you, you
may be sending a signal that you agree. On the other h