How to Coach Yourself and Others How to Influence, Persuade and Motivate | Seite 214

Chapter 5
The Rule of Connectivity
Contagious Cooperation
Overview
The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing
how to get along with people.
—THEODORE ROOSEVELT
We have all had the experience of feeling an instant connection or bond
with someone after just a few seconds of being in their presence. This is
the Rule of Connectivity. We have probably all met someone whom we
instantly did not like and did not want to be around. This is caused by a
lack of connectivity and usually takes only a few seconds to manifest
itself. The Rule of Connectivity states that the more we feel connected to,
part of, liked by, or attracted to someone, the more persuasive they
become. When you create an instant bond or connection, people feel
comfortable around you. They will feel like they have known you for a
long time and that they can easily relate to you. When we feel connected
with someone, we feel comfortable and understood; they can relate to us
and a sense of trust ensues.
There are four main factors in connectivity: attraction, similarity, people
skills, and rapport. Each of these points will be discussed in detail in the
following pages. However, before proceeding, it is important to note that
really connecting with others requires an attitude of sincerity, a lot of
practice, and a true interest in the other person. Whatever you do, don't
take your relationships with people for granted.
Attraction: The Halo Effect
Attraction operates by making one positive characteristic of a person
affect other people's overall perception of him. Sociologists describe this
as the halo effect. Because of this halo effect, people automatically
associate traits of kindness, trust, and intelligence with people who are
attractive. We naturally try to please people we like and find attractive. If
your audience likes you, they will forgive you for your "wrongs" and
214