How to Coach Yourself and Others Happiness Is No Accident | Page 94

HOW TO REMOVE OBSTACLES TO PERSONAL
GROWTH
Do you know how to calculate the amount of fear holding you back in life? Take a pen and a piece
of paper. On top of the page, write down your current age, for instance "34 years old." At the
bottom, indicate how old you intend to grow before you die. "Death at 80" is a reasonable target.
Now comes the mathematical part of the exercise. Draw a straight line connecting your current age
with your death. That line represents the number of days that you have left on earth. In our
example, the difference between 80 and 34 leaves you with 46 years, that is, almost 17.000 days.
The last part of the game consists of deciding how you are going to use those 17.000 days.
Now, draw a vertical line on your page, which divides your future in two areas. On the left side of
the line, you can write down safe and commonplace goals. On the right side, difficult and
disruptive ambitions. The rules of the exercise allow you to list as many activities as you wish,
provided that you don't run out of time to live.
Boring projects are easy to name and quantify. They include, amongst others, looking for better
jobs, cleaning the house and going on holidays. Don’t forget mundane tasks such as working five
days a week, watching television, walking the dog, washing your car once per month and shopping
for new clothes. When your remaining term of 46 years is up, you are dead.
You only need to worry about the opposite side of the line if you have unused time, which is
unlikely. The truth is that most people will allocate their complete lifespan to left-side tasks.
What about the right side of the line? Does anyone actually write down adventurous, risky goals?
Are there people foolish enough to risk total failure in order to pursue their dreams? Is it not better
to stick to attainable objectives? This is the type of activities that usually come up under the label
"difficult and disruptive:"
1. Live in Paris for a year (500 days, including preparation and removals)
2. Start up and grow a global business (3000 days)
3. Write twenty great books (3000 days)
4. Save and invest until you are able to live from dividends (6000 days)
5. Learn to cook according to good nutrition principles (300 days)
6. Lose weight and acquire habits that allow you to stay in good shape (500 days)
One could argue that this game is useless, since it has no winner and no loser. Since the same
individual appears on both sides of the line, what is the point? What is the purpose of the exercise?
The answer is that, paradoxically, the subjects on each side of the line are different persons.
One of them is boring, the other fearless. One of them is aimless, the other determined. One of
them is predictable, the other exciting. The lesson is that, one day, the 46 years will be consumed
all the same. At the end, results will be trivial or spectacular, meaningless or irreplaceable.
If you don't like the outcome of your calculations, take a blank piece of paper, draw a new vertical
line, and start the exercise again. After a few times, you will get quite good at it. At one point, you
will begin to fear boring activities more than risky ones. If you are already there, congratulations,
now you know how to win the game.
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