How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Page 478

4.38 ANGER MANAGEMENT – PARTII
Can you recall the last time you were really angry at someone? So much
so that you were physically shaken just at the thought of them? Rarely
does this feeling of anger help us in getting what we want. Often, it will
work against us, resulting in more pain, unnecessarily.
Even the most gentle of personalities can temporarily turn into a
vindictive rascal, if pushed far enough.
A friend of mine is going through a divorce with a spouse who is
unreasonably prolonging the process. He’s sad, hurt, upset, frustrated
and very, very angry. Words of anger and hatred spout out of his –
otherwise polite and thoughtful – mouth. He was no longer his authentic
and peaceful self. And he didn’t like who he was becoming.
Through helping him come to a place of understanding and forgiveness
of his ex-spouse with love, compassion and humility (we had to dig
deep), I realized that the same tools can be used in dealing with other
negative emotions.
For sake of simplicity, we will use anger as the target emotion to
overcome. Keep in mind that these same tools can be applied to
overcome other non-conducive and intense emotions such as jealousy,
guilt, hatred, regret and fear.
Why Do We Feel Like Crap?
“It’s amazing how much emotion
a little mental concept like ‘my’ can generate.“
- Eckhart Tolle
Anger doesn’t feel very