How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Page 451

event. If I kept myself stuck in that f-e-a-r, I would not be able to help
people and do what I am doing today. Nor would I be who I am and
always wanted to be. Fear “False-Evidence-Appearing-Real”. It’s a
realization that fear is nothing more than what you make it. And it is
something you can overcome. This is my belief. The first time I heard
about F.E.A.R. on my motivational tapes, I felt enlightened and now when
I feel a bit nervous or scared I think of how false fear is. This makes me
feel better.
I would like you to try a simple exercise – only if you feel ready. Think
about a fear that has been holding you back from accomplishing
something you truly wanted to do in your life or just had a general fear
of. I would like you to do it or face it. Make sure it’s sensible and
responsible. Definitely do not do something that would be deemed
irresponsible or harmful to yourself or others. I am by no means telling
you if you are afraid of sharks to go swim with them. Just take the first
steps towards getting over a fear.
Here’s an example: Someone who is near and dear to me always counted
on her son to take her to her nieces home that was about an hour away.
Her fear was of getting lost, even though she knew how to get there.
Finally when she had no one to drive her, and after many discussions
with me and her son, she decided to give it a try. This was one of the
scariest things to her. This was a big deal. I am so very proud of her! She
did it! Her comments afterwards were “I feel like I’m free”, “It’s a feeling
of freedom”, “I feel great”, “I feel as if I can do anything now”. These are
wonderful feelings. Isn’t it time for you to pick something small to start
with? Don’t you want to feel that way? For example, if you are afraid of
birds, take your first step by visiting a friend with a friendly pet bird.
Slowly going over to the cage and talking to it. Visit a few times until you
feel comfortable enough to feed it or pet it. Each time will get better.
Or if you have a fear of public speaking, as I did, and want to start
speaking at meetings but are too overwhelmed with fear, I suggest the
following… Locate and contact your local Toastmasters or speaking
group and attend a few meetings. Yet another example, if you like
someone and want to ask him or her out but you are afraid of rejection,
my advice is to ask him or her. Why hold yourself back. You will never
know the true answer unless you ask. I would rather ask and be rejected
than to wonder for the rest of my life what could have been. Just
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