How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Page 449

Have you heard the saying that F-E-A-R is ‘False Evidence Appearing
Real’ or ‘Fantasized Evidence Appearing Real’?
Perhaps you were somewhere that you wanted to get up and speak but
the palpitations were so bad you couldn’t. Maybe you want to audition
for American Idol but are unable to get up in front of an audience. Are
you ready to be on America’s Next Top Model but fear is holding you
back?
Now, I want you to think about when you conquered a fear. Think about
that time when you said “I’m going to do this anyway” and you did. Do
you remember that feeling of pure freedom, of exhilaration, or joy? I do!
I would like to share with you a little bit I know about “Fear”. I am going
to fill you in on why I feel the above statement is 100% true. Think about
this for a moment. If you close your eyes and imagine you’re standing on
the edge of a tall building – really put yourself there – you will actually
begin to sway; most people can feel the fear of falling while doing this
demonstration. You are not actually on the building but your mind and
body make a connection to that fear. Another example is if you have ever
gone to a 3-D movie you were most likely startled when something
projected towards you and you jumped. I have experienced this feeling.
It’s called fear. We know it’s not real, but we have the reaction and
feeling as if it is. Our fears can hold us back from doing many things that
we can and want to do most in life.
Think about spiders or bees. How do you react when you see one of
these insects? We know that bees can sting and some spiders are
poisonous but should we be paranoid about these insects? I have a fear
of spiders. I remember a time I made myself paralyzed with fear over a
shadow in the corner of my living room. In my mind it became a huge
spider and I could not move to get rid of it. The fear I felt was so strong
until I realized it was just a shadow. I could not believe how I made
myself become unable to move over something I could quickly overcome.
Some people also allow bad past experiences to hold them in fear. A
personal example of this happened when I was in grade school. I had a
teacher become angry with me. I was giving an oral presentation in front
of the entire class. When it was my turn for the presentation I sat on the
desk. I thought nothing of this because most kids had done it before.
However, when I became nervous I started swinging my legs back and
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