How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Seite 411

4.28 CONGRUENCE
Be authentic (genuine), open and honest to a coachee. Help him in a
pleasant and straightforward way to address his problems. You are no
good to a coachee if you don't help him discover what the real problem is
and how he might solve it. Discovering the truth can be painful to the
coachee, but the way you assist him can make all the difference. Adjust
your approach to the type of coachee. Avoid creating a sense of being
exposed or having to get all defensive because you are too direct or too
assertive. The goal is to help the coachee, not to be assertive. Act like a
friend.
Nobody listens to me. I feel like I don't exist. At home, at the office,
whatever I say, it doesn't register. They think they know it all. Why don't
they listen? I have forty years of experience.
You're telling me people don't listen to you. During our discussions
you have taken the initiative and a tight control. It's been hard for
me to break into the conversation or to turn it into a dialogue. I can
imagine that some people dislike that and therefore ignore you. Do
you think it might be possible that this creates the impression
people aren't listening to you?
Well, uh... I don't know.
I have noticed you cross your arms a lot and that you are often
looking at the floor.
Mister Johnson....
No, just listen to me for once. Maybe it's me, but every time I try to
say something you interrupt me. How is that in other situations, for
instance when someone wants to explain something to you?
In the next example the coachee is an overaged hippie looking for work:
Okay, you didn't get the job. That can happen to the best of us. I know
this is not a job interview but when I look at you... the way you're
dressed, your unconventional hairdo, the odour around you - I wonder
what a potential employer thinks of it and if that's what he is looking for?
Has he gone crazy to say all that, the effing wanker!
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