How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Page 307

4.17 BUILDING ASSERTIVENESS
Here are our top ten tips to become a more assertive person.
1. Think "I'm OK, you're OK" or win-win
In every relationship, conversation, or exchange with someone
else, whether they are in a superior or inferior role, think winwin. This is what Eric Berne described as a belief that "I'm OK
and so are you".
2. Respond to praise with thanks
When someone gives you praise, don't get embarrassed and
brush it off. Thank the person and ask them what exactly they
liked.
3. Respond to criticism with objectivity
When someone criticizes you, don't hit back. If there's some
truth in the criticism, ask for more information. If none, smile
and say nothing.
4. Learn to say "No"
If you are not contractually obliged to do something, and don't
want to do it, learn to say "No" firmly, politely, and resolutely.
5. Admit Your Mistakes, Don't Cover Them Up
Learn how to admit your mistakes without fear of what might
happen to you. Do it when you make small mistakes and it'll be
easier when they are bigger.
6. Drop the Blame Game
When things go wrong, don't blame others, the situation, or
yourself. Instead, welcome the chance to learn something.
7. Don't Belittle Yourself
Eliminate the words "just" and "only" from your vocabulary as in
"I'm just a junior executive" and "I've only limited experience".
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