How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Page 220

Stage 2 - Anger
Anger is a feeling that is often intensely felt during this time.
Anger is identified by feelings of second-guessing, hate, selfdoubt, embarrassment, irritation, shame, hurt, frustration, and
anxiety. People usually understand more clearly what is
happening, but they may look for someone to blame at this stage.
If there is no one on whom to focus the anger or blame, a feeling
of helplessness may take over and the anger may be turned
inside. Some people take it out on themselves by taking
responsibility for a situation over which they have had little
control.
People are often afraid that if they let themselves acknowledge
the anger they feel, they will immediately need to express it and
act on it in a way that they will regret later. However, by not
admitting to themselves and others close to them the loss and
pain they feel, they will be blocked from doing something about
the situation. It will also prevent them from moving on. Some
people get stuck at this stage.
To express anger in a positive way, people need to change how
they view the situation. It is also helpful to talk to others about it
or write down their feelings in order to figure out what they
need to do to make the feelings less intense. Another option is to
turn the anger into energy through an active sport or brisk
physical activity or to express it through playing a musical
instrument.
Stage 3 - Depression and Detachment
The third stage of the loss cycle, depression and detachment, is
characterized by feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and
being overwhelmed. People often feel down, lack energy, and
have no desire to do anything. Withdrawal from activities and
other people is common. Because it is also hard to make

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