How to Coach Yourself and Others Essential Knowledge For Coaching | Page 150

I know it’s not easy, if it was easy, there wouldn’t be difficult or
negative people to begin with.
Why Bother Controlling Our Responses?
1. Hurting Ourselves
One of my favorite sayings is “Holding a grudge against someone
is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
The only person we hurt is ourselves. When we react to
negativity, we are disturbing our inner space and mentally
creating pain within ourselves.
2. It’s Not About You, It’s About Them
I’ve learned that when people initiate negativity, it is a reflection
of their inner state expressed externally and you just happen to
be in front of that expression. It’s not personal, so why do we
take it personally? In short: Because our ego likes problems and
conflict. People are often so bored and unhappy with their own
lives that they want to take others down with them.
3. Battle of the Ego
When we respond impulsively, it is a natural and honest
response. However, is it the smart thing to do? What can be
resolved by doing so? The answer: Nothing. It does however feed
our ego’s need for conflict.
Have you noticed that when we fight back, it feels really
satisfying in our heads? But it doesn’t feel very good in our soul?
Our stomach becomes tight, and we start having violent
thoughts?
When we do respond irrationally, it turns the conversation from
a one-sided negative expression into a battle of two egos. It
becomes an unnecessary and unproductive battle for Who is
Right?

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