How to Coach Yourself and Others Empowering Coaching And Crisis Interventions | Page 67

This book is in B&W, not color - Print page in Grayscale for Correct view! Take the case of a 24 year old guy who works in the hospital come into the ER. He was having back pain and he had a painfully stiff neck. It turns out that this guy was working in a job he hated. Okay, nothing new there, many of us do that at one point or another. He told me about how he had no other option. (Of course, I felt compelled to point out that there is always more then one choice or option in any given situation. In the end, what we do is our choice based on the pluses and minuses to be gained or lost. But that is a completely different post.) When I started digging deeper, he told me about the mortgage he has to pay as an example of one of his many burdens in life. That intrigued me. A 24 year old with a mortgage. The conversation went on for a while. To make a long story short he was supporting his mother, divorced sister and her child who all lived with him. I was blown away. What a heck of a burden for a 24 year old guy to shoulder. I couldn’t leave him like that so I started telling him about his qualities and strengths. Qualities and strengths that I heard during our conversation. I told him about his highly developed sense of responsibility. I pointed out to him how committed he was to his family. I pointed out his selflessness. Many people his age put themselves and their needs before anything else. I also pointed out to him how rare it was for someone his age to be able to plan ahead the way he is. (He had bought an apartment because the rent is just as high as his mortgage.) The more I pointed out his positive strengths, especially ones that connected him with his sense of values, the more he perked up. The point of this story is twofold. First, even a few minutes can make a big difference in someone’s day and sometimes even their life. Secondly, if you really want to encourage and empower someone, listen to them carefully. Even within their tales of despair you can find a person’s strength. When a person recognizes, remembers and connects to their strengths, they are ready to soar. Has someone ever empowered you through emphasizing or pointing out your strengths? “Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit. We cannot flower and grow without it.” ~Jess lair I chose to share this story with you mostly because I found it so amazing to see how things that you learn - in this case things that I learned in my coaching training program - actually come to life in your day to day interactions. I realize what a tremendous difference learning theory, as well as certain techniques, whether it be listening, re-framing or encouragement just to name a few, make on the way you view and react to things. Yet, another example of why constant learning and self advancement is so important. On our journey through life, each of our inner circles is growing and encompassing more people: children, significant others, friends, colleagues, and random people we meet and don’t know as intimately. As the circle grows, so too does our influence. Every nod, every smile, every interaction can completely change the course of someone else’s day. We can either wield that influence in a positive or negative way. The following I would like to dedicate to those special people who identify with their fellowmen, and use their influence to empower them.  Empowering others is one of the most important acts of kindness one can do for his fellow man.  Empowering others means not criticizing them.  Empowering others means not judging them.  Empowering others means not being cynical toward them.  Empowering others means praising the struggling student in the class on his or her progress — any progress, no matter how small.  Empowering others means curbing your ego. For [email protected] Property of Bookemon, do NOT distribute 67