How to Coach Yourself and Others Empowering Coaching And Crisis Interventions | Page 41

This book is in B&W, not color - Print page in Grayscale for Correct view! Example: Peter (55) has been unemployed for almost two years, but he has not looked for a job in months. He says, “There’s no work out there. Besides, who is going to hire a man of my age?” Seligman’s (1975) concept of learned helplessness is a useful perspective for understanding these clients. People with learned helplessness come to believe that their actions do not matter; as a result, they are unlikely to extend any effort to change since they believe that they have no control over their lives and that what happens to them is a result of chance. They believe in a “luck ethic” rather than a “work ethic.” Their beliefs are reflected in statements such as the following: ■ “You have to be at the right place at the right time to succeed.” ■ “If I’m successful, it’s because the task was easy.” ■ “It doesn’t matter if I work hard.” ■ “There’s nothing I can do about it.” The key to working with people with learned helplessness — indeed, most clients at the contemplation stage—is to assist them “in thinking through the risks of the behaviour and potential benefits of change and to instill hope that change is possible” (DiClemente & Velasquez, 2002, p. 209). Many people with low self-esteem and learned helplessness are in fact quite capable; it is the way they think and feel about themselves that is problematic. Consequently, it is important that counsellors look for ways to counter the client’s self-depreciating remarks (e.g., encourage clients to see their past failures as deficits “in the plan,” not deficits in them). As well, counsellors can encourage clients to see elements of success in previous efforts (e.g., partial goal achievement, lessening of problem severity, short-term achievement). Cognitive behavioural techniques, discussed later in this chapter, have also proven to be effective. Confrontation should be used cautiously. It may be useful as a way to help clients understand incongruities between what they believe and the way they act; selfdefeating ways of thinking and behaving; behaviour that is harmful to self or others; blind spots; blaming behaviours; and communication problems. As well, confrontation can also target unrecognized or discounted strengths. As a rule, confrontation is most effective when it is invited in the context of a collaborative relationship. Preparation Stage: “I’m Going to Do It Next Week.” When clients reach this third phase, they have made a decision to change and motivating them is no longer the principal task. However, counsellors need to sustain the energy for change through support, encouragement, and empathic caring. The principal task for the counsellor is to assist the client to develop concrete goals and action plan strategies. Without concrete, systematic plans, change efforts can be quickly frustrated and abandoned like soon-forgotten New Year’s resolutions. The essence of good planning consists of setting concrete goals, identifying and evaluating alternative ways of reaching goals, selecting an action plan, and anticipating potential obstacles. For clients with learned helplessness, setting small, achievable goals is crucial for establishing and maintaining a climate of success and hope. Example: Iris, a young single parent, is excited about the possibility of returning to school. She sees a school counsellor for assistance with enrollment in the high school’s special program for teen moms, but she has not yet considered issues like daycare. Using a strengths approach, counsellors can assist preparation-stage clients to draw from their past experiences (proven success strategies and lessons learned). As well, clients can learn about strategies that have worked for others. Finally, it is very important to coach these clients to anticipate potential obstacles and to plan strategies for addressing them, including the emotional stress of the change process. Action Stage: “I’m Changing.” At this stage clients are actively involved in the change process. They are working on the goals and implementing the plans developed in the preparation stage. DiClemente and For [email protected] Property of Bookemon, do NOT distribute 41