How to Coach Yourself and Others Empowering Coaching And Crisis Interventions | Seite 200
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Do not try to make them feel better by reminding them how much better their lives are than other
people's.
When your friend is confiding in you with their feelings, don't start bringing up your own problems.
This might make them feel like their depression isn't as important as your own problems and make
things worse.
Keep them talking, talking helps but give them ways to work out their problems privately too, don't
force them to be dependent on you.
People can and do recover from depression. Never lose sight of that, and without pushing it in the
depressed person's face, make sure they remember it too.
Sometimes venting to them might not be wise, as they're already in a dark place and might not be able
to handle someone else's troubles on top of their own. Follow the advice presented under No.1 with
caution.
Try not to give them advice, try to just guide them.
If you honestly mean it and can do so with an open heart, offer to be there 24/7. Tell them that you
welcome their phone calls at all hours. You will rarely, if ever, receive a middle of the night call. But a
sincere offer sends a message of support that will be heard.
Be patient. Don't involve other peers unless the person is happy with you involving other people. And
above all remind them that you will always be there for them. And if you say it, mean it.
Don't ask them to "cheer up" or "snap out of it". People with depression aren't capable of just doing it so
simply, so be sensitive to that. It'll only make them feel guilty about their condition.
A lot of times depressed people just want to be alone, so don't push. If you can, try to get them
interested in going out with friends and doing things again. Even getting them to be happy again for a
couple hours means there is still hope!
Warnings
Don't tell you friend to stop being depressed or be happier. This is out of their control.
Many people with depression will turn down your offer of assistance. Don't take it personally.
Never tell them that their problems are stupid or that there is nothing to worry about. They'll stop
talking.
Many suicide attempts happen when people begin to feel slightly better, rather than in their very deepest
depression. When someone is at rock bottom they may not have enough energy to do anything; when
their energy starts to return, that is when they may take action.
Self-harm could be the precursor to thoughts of suicide, so watch them closely and continue to provide
gentle encouragement and reassurance. However, self-harming does not definitely mean that a person
will become suicidal, it usually indicates that a person has significant personal problems and may
simply be a cry for help.
If your friend does any of the following things, you should call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
for referrals [1-800-273-TALK(8255)] or seek immediate help.
Talks about "wanting to die," or "wishing it was all o