How to Coach Yourself and Others Empowering Coaching And Crisis Interventions | Page 101

This book is in B&W, not color - Print page in Grayscale for Correct view! Note also that when clients say, “I don’t know,” their responses may indicate friction in the counselling relationship and this answer is a way of sabotaging the work. In such cases goal setting might be premature, and the focus of the interview may need to shift to relationship problem solving (immediacy). Moreover, when clients say, “I don’t know” they might also be saying, “I can’t do it” or “I’m afraid.” In such situations suggesting a very small goal may be a starting point (e.g., “If you could make just one tiny change in your life, what would it be?”). The miracle question (de Shazer, 1985; Carpetto, 2008) is widely used in brief and single-session counselling as a way to help clients shift their thinking away from problems to goals and possibilities for change (more on the miracle question below). Effective Goals Can Be Measured When goals are measurable, clients are able to evaluate progress and they know precisely when they have reached their goals. Moreover, clear goals sustain client enthusiasm and motivation. Vague and unmeasurable goals, on the other hand, can result in apathy and vague action plans. Thus, goals need to be defined in terms of changes (increases or decreases) in behaviours, thoughts, or feelings.  Example (skill): “My goal is to express my opinion or ask a question once per class.”  Example (thoughts): “My goal is to manage self-depreciating thought patterns by substituting positive affirmations.”  Example (feelings): “My goal is to reduce anxiety.” Help clients frame goals in quantifiable language with questions such as “How often?”, “How many times?” and “How much?” Goals should also have a realistic schedule (a target date to start working on them and a target date to reach them). For example, “Target weight reduction of 9 kilograms in ten weeks” or “Make five calls per day to potential employers.” Effective Goals Are Challenging but Realistic A goal has to be something that clients can reasonably expect to achieve, even though it may require effort and commitment. So counsellors need to consider variables such as interest in achieving the goals, skills and abilities, and resources (including the counsellor) available to help in reaching the goals. In addition, the goals need to be significant enough to contribute to managing or changing the core problem situation. But some clients may be reluctant to set challenging goals or even to set goals at all. This situation can occur for a number of reasons: ■ poor self-esteem ■ fear of failure ■ lack of awareness of capacity for change ■ fear of change and reluctance to give up established patterns ■ lack of resources to support pursuit of the goal (Shebib, 1997, p. 210) For [email protected] Property of Bookemon, do NOT distribute 101