How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching With Meta Communication | Page 73
PART II : CONVERSATION
Making Conversation: A Skill, Not an Art
Do cocktail parties strike terror in your heart? If so, you are
not alone. Although the ability to converse with others comes
naturally to some, it is a skill that most of us must develop.
Many women don’t realize that effective conversation has little
to do with what you know, but everything to do with how you
present yourself. The 19th century French novelist Guy de
Maupassant said it best:
“Conversation … is the art of never appearing a bore, of
knowing how to say everything interestingly, to entertain with
no matter what, to be charming with nothing at all.”
The ability to converse well with others is not some elusive
thing, obtainable only by a chosen few. With a little elbow
grease, even shy women can learn to feel comfortable
speaking with anyone, about anything. Here’s my tried and
true formula:
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Take a personal inventory.
Make a list of your personal strengths and accomplishments. Keep this with you at all times, and add
to it. Review it regularly, but especially before entering social situations that usually cause you
discomfort. This will remind you that you do have much to offer.
−
Ask a friend. Request honest input from a trusted friend. How does she think you come
across in social situations? What does she think you do well? How could you converse more
effectively with others? Better yet, ask a
couple of confidantes for their assessment
of you.
−
Now you are ready to make a SelfDevelopment list. Chances are good that
one or more of the following steps will
address your weak areas:
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Speak less and listen more.
People love to speak about themselves. In
social situations, be sure to ask others
about their interests, work, opinions, etc.
This will take the focus off of you. A side
benefit of this approach is that you will
invariably be viewed as a great
conversationalist, even though you’ve said
little or nothing!
−
Develop your sense of humor.
Take note of the things that make you
laugh. Pay attention to what others find
humorous. You don’t have to be
particularly quick-witted or a great
storyteller in order to make others laugh.
In fact, some of the funniest (and safest)
materia