How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching With Meta Communication | Page 44
Another positive sign is what
psychologists call 'postural congruence'
or 'postural echo': when your partner
unconsciously adopts a posture similar to
yours. Mirror-image postural echoes –
where one person's left side 'matches' the
other person's right side – are the
strongest indication of harmony and
rapport between the pair. If the position
of your partner's body and limbs appear
to 'echo' or 'mimic' your own, particularly
if his/her posture is a mirror image of
yours, the chances are that he/she feels
an affinity with you.
When flirting, you can also use postural
echo to create a feeling of togetherness
and harmony. Experiments have shown
that although people are not consciously
aware of someone deliberately 'echoing'
their postures, they will evaluate a person
who does this more favourably. If you
'echo' your partner's postures, he/she will
not only feel more at ease in your
company, but will perceive you as more like-minded.
This technique obviously has its limits. We would not suggest, for example, that a woman in a mini-skirt should 'echo'
the open-legged sitting posture of her male companion. But if he is leaning forward with his left forearm resting on the
table, she could create a sense of common identity by 'mirroring' this aspect of his posture – leaning forward with her
right forearm on the table.
In addition to these 'generic' signals
of interest, there are specifically male
and female posture signals which are
often seen in flirtatious encounters.
These tend to be postures which
enhance the masculine or dominant
appearance of the male, and the
femininity of the female. Males may
adopt postures which make them
appear taller, larger and more
impressive, such as placing hands in
pockets with elbows out to enlarge
the chest, or leaning one hand at
above shoulder height on a wall to
appear taller and more imposing.
Females either adopt postures which
make them look smaller, such as
drawing the knees towards the body
when seated, or postures which draw
attention to physical attributes
attractive to males, such as arching
the back to display the breasts, or
crossing and re-crossing the legs to
draw attention to them.
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