How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching With Meta Communication

7. Stimulate Visualization When you tell somebody not to think of an old gnome, not to imagine his red pointed cap, not to think of his long white beard, nor of his high boots and typical duds, … What happens ? He inevitably thinks of a gnome anyway. To understand what you are saying, the listener has no choice but to create in his mind some representation of an old gnome. A handy way to make your listener think about or imagine something, is to tell them * not to think about it * that there’s no such thing as … * It is impossible to imagine … Always remember: Whatever you describe, your listener will visualize. The more sensory details you include (colors, sounds, smells, feelings, tastes, …), the stronger his response will be. Use vivid descriptions to allow your listener to feel as if he is directly experiencing what you describe, with all the emotions that follow from that experience : When you talk about a beach, don’t just refer to it as “a beach”, but tell how you walked up a hill and suddenly spotted this pure strip of land, hidden between two dunes, where the light blue water glittered between the sun, with the softly murmuring wide ocean caressing the white sandy shore below you in an eternally repeated leisurely rising and falling flow of its white foamy waves. 13

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