How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Families | Page 53

Content Versus Process: A Critical Distinction In BSFT, the "content" of therapy refers to what family members talk about, including their explanations for family problems, beliefs about how problems should be managed, perspectives about who or what causes the problems, and other topics. In contrast, the "process" of therapy refers to how family members interact, including the degree to which family members listen to, support, interrupt, undermine, and express emotion to one another, as well as other ways of interacting. The distinction between content and process is absolutely critical to BSFT. To be able to identify repetitive patterns of interaction, it is essential that the BSFT counselor focus on the process rather than the content of therapy. Process is identified by the behaviors that are involved in a family interaction. Nonverbal behavior is usually indicative of process as is the manner in which family members speak to one another. Process and content can send contradictory messages. For example, while an adolescent may say, "Sure Mom, I'll come home early," her sarcastic gesture and intonation may indicate that she has no intention of following her mother's request that she be home early. Generally, the process is more reliable than the content because behaviors or interactions (e.g., disobeying family rules) tend to repeat over time, while the specific topic involved may change from interaction to interaction (e.g., coming home late, not doing chores, etc.). The focus of BSFT is to change the nature of those interactions that constitute the family's process. The counselor who listens to the content and loses sight of the process won't be able to make the kinds of changes in the family that are essential to BSFT work. Frequently, a family member will want to tell the counselor a story about something that happened with another family member. Whenever the counselor hears a story about another family member, the counselor is allowing the family to trap him or her in content. If the counselor wants to refocus the session from content to process, when Mom says, "Let me tell you what my son did...," the counselor would say: "Please tell your son directly so that I can hear how you talk about this." When Mom talks to her son directly, the therapist can observe the process rather than just hear the content when Mom tells the therapist what her so