How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Families | Page 270

Therapist: You seem to be telling me that at home things went from bad to worse. If things don’t get better
now, what do you think will happen?
Client: She’ll pick up and leave. (pause).
T: And then what?
C: It’ll be a real mess then, because she knows I love her. We both had a drug habit, but now she’s clean, but
I’m not. (pause).
T: Who will suffer the most if she leaves?
C: I will.
T: In what way?
C: I don’t want her to leave. I love her too much for her to leave. It’s a cruel world out there. I like her a lot, and
she knows that. We had plans to get married. I want her to be my wife. I’m not looking for other women.
T: And so, what do you suppose is the smallest thing you can do to make things just a little bit better, however
slight?
C: I’d say I’d have to go cold turkey.
T: What makes you say that?
C: Because that’s how she did it.
T: And?
C: She’ll expect me to do the same thing.
T: Do you know that for sure?
C: She told me so.
T: How did she go cold turkey?
C: Willpower. She’s a pretty strong person.
T: What do you suppose could be done in your situation?
C: I guess I’d have to ask her for help.
T: In what way?
C: I don’t know. Maybe I can ask her for some ideas.
T: What made you think of asking her for some ideas?
C: I don’t know . . . just an idea I had.
T: It’s not just an idea. It’s a great idea. What made you think of that?
C: Well, she’s resourceful.
T: In what ways do you think she’ll be resourceful when you ask her?
C: Maybe she’ll come up with ways that’ll help me cope with going cold turkey.
T: I bet you know some of those things already.
C: Yeah, I noticed some of the things she did.
T: Could you mention some of them?
The main objective of pessimistic sequences is to assist the individual client, a couple, a family, or anyone in a
relationship to come up with new ideas or to recall successful strategies (exceptions) from their respective pasts.
Once new ideas or tried-and-tested exceptions from the past are accessed and amplified, they in turn help to
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