How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Families | Page 268

A therapist may also ask a client speculative questions such as what another person might think about the client
and client situation. Those questions are called dyadic because dyad refers to the number two: the client and
someone else.
If no headway is made with the use of monadic questions, a dyadic question will often serve as a strategic
manoeuvre to allow the client more psychological space to answer. The dyadic question, “What do you think
your wife felt about your being in jail?” involves two people: the client and his wife. In this case, the client will
probably be more apt to answer.
Similarly, a triadic question merely adds a third person to the dyad. The triadic question, “What do you think
your mother thought about your wife’s view of your being in jail?” involves three people.
Dyadic and triadic questions are clever means of making dialogue possible between therapists and reluctant
clients. When involuntary clients hesitate to talk about themselves, the therapists may find dyadic and triadic
questioning particularly helpful in gathering data.
Strategically, these questions often further distance the client from the painful immediacy of the situation by
“letting someone else” describe it.
The crucial importance of a dyadic or triadic question lies in the oblique manner a therapist is able to phrase
questions. It serves as an indirect route to access client data.
While there are no guarantees that clients will respond favourably to dyadic or triadic questions, clients who do
not care to answer questions about themselves are more likely to answer questions that are posed from an
oblique perspective.
These questions act as a bypass or a detour, cleverly couched and positioned as if the answers are coming from
the thoughts and feelings of other people. The client’s voicing of what others might believe and what others
might be saying or thinking paradoxically allows the therapist access into the client’s world. In effect, dyadic
and triadic questions permit the clients, on the one hand, to hide and partially protect themselves and, on the
other, to reveal the nature and quality of their interactive relationships.
Examples of Dyadic Questions
 How does your wife feel about your drinking problem?
 What do you think are your husband’s feelings about the affair you had?
 How does your mother feel about your getting stopped for a DUI?
 What does your father think about your being asked to leave college?
 What would your favorite hero think about your actions?
Examples of Triadic Questions
 What does your mother think about the way your wife feels about your drinking problem?
 What would your mother think about your husband’s feelings about your affair?
 What does your father think about your mother’s feelings about your getting stopped for a DUI?
 How does your mother feel about your father’s thoughts about your being asked to leave college?
 What would your father feel about your favorite hero’s thoughts about your actions?
When a client is responsive to dyadic or triadic questions, the therapist will usually ask more r V