How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Families | Page 257

After this initial strategy is employed with the involuntary client, the client may choose to become a voluntary
client. If that is the case, then any number of approaches, including those suggested in the prior chapter, are
readily available to begin the process of therapy, which would also include discussing the problem and
establishing a goal.

 JOINING
This is the process of coupling that occurs between the therapist and the family, leading to the development of
therapeutic system. In this process the therapist allies with family members by expressing interest in
understanding them as individuals and working with and for them. In joining, the therapist becomes accepted as
such by the family, and remains in that position for the duration of treatment; although the joining process is
more evident during the initial phase of therapy, the maintenance of a working relationship to the family is one
of the constant features in the therapist’s job.
Joining is considered one of the most important prerequisites to restructuring. It is a contextual process that is
continuous. Much of the success in joining depends on the therapist’s ability to listen, his capacity for empathy,
his genuine interest in his client? dramas, his sensitivity to feedback. But this does not exclude a need for
technique in joining. The therapist’s empathy, for instance, needs to be disciplined so that it does not hinder his
ability to keep a certain distance and to operate in the direction of change. Contrary to a rather common
misunderstanding, joining is not just the process of being accepted by the family; it is being accepted as a
therapist, with a quota of leadership. Sometimes a trainee is described as “good at joining, but not at pushing for
change”; in these cases, what in fact happens is that the trainee is not joining well. He is accepted by the family,
yes, but at the expense of relinquishing his role and being swallowed by the homeostatic rules of the system.
Excessive accommodation is not good joining.
There are five ways of joining in structural family therapy.


1. Tracking:
In tracking, the therapist follows the content of the family that is the facts. Getting information through
using open-ended questions. Tracking is best exemplified when the therapist gives a family feedback on
what he or she has observed or heard.
According to Minuchin, tracking is where the therapist, “follows the content of the family’s
communications and behaviour and encourages them to continue… In its simplist form it means to ask
clarifying questions, to make approving comments, or to elicit amplification of a point.” (Minuchin (1974).
With maintenance the therapist’s message seems to be, “I see you, I support you in this, I validate you and
don’t judge”, in tracking the therapist’s message seems to be, “let me see if I am understanding
correctly…can you help me by clarifying that last thing you said”. Tracking lets the therpist check with the
family that she is understanding correctly, and at the same time she is allowing the family members to make
clearer and more explicit the implicit feelings and thoughts of the members. Tracking reminds me of
Roger’s idea of accurate empathy.



2. Mimesis:
The therapist becomes like the family in the manner or content of their communications.
According to Minuchin, “A therapist uses mimesis to accommodate to a family’s style and affective [feeling
range]. He adopts the family’s tempo of communication slowing his pace, for example, in a family that is
accustomed to long pauses and slow responses. In a jovial family he becomes jovial and expansive. In a
family with a restrictive style, his communication becomes sparse.” (Minuchin (1974)) The task with
mimesis is to join the family, to be engage in mutual acceptance wit