How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Families | Page 243

 ADDING COGNITIVE CONSTRUCTIONS
1.Advice & Information
are derived from experience and knowledge of the family in therapy. They are used to calm down anxious
members of families or reassure these individuals and families about certain actions.
2. Pragmatic fictions
are formal expressions of opinion to help families and their members change.
3. Paradox
is an apparently sound argument leading to a contradiction. It is used to motivate family members to search or
alternatives. Family members may defy the therapists and become better or they may explore reasons why their
behaviours are as they are and make changes in the ways members interact.

 COMMUNICATION TECHNIQUES
1. MATCHING THE CLIENT’S LANGUAGE
Example: Use the exact words the client uses to describe the problem in asking questions about what they have
done before, when it is not so serious a problem, etc.
Also, attend to client’s metaphors and utilize them also to extend observations, learn about their interests or
hobbies to use metaphors that involve them.
2. MATCHING SENSORY MODALITIES
Use words pertaining to “seeing” or “hearing” how things are and use words in the same vein.
3. CHANNELING THE CLIENT’S LANGUAGE
Channel away from jargon into action descriptions used in every day language. This has the effect of
depathologizing or normalizing clients’ situations. Gradually change your terminology to less serious, more
positive words. (Example: Use the words “transitional period” as this give the client the opportunity to take
solace in hearing that a problem is temporary, helps shape their expectations for the future).
4. USE OF VERB FORMS
Create a reality where the problem is in the past and possibilities exist for the present and in the future. “When
you had this problem before, you used to . . you were having difficulty . . how did the old you . . .” - Help
clients make distinctions that are helpful (feeling like or thinking about . . . rather than doing it).
5. GIVE CLOSE EXAMINATION TO THEIR LANGUAGE AND YOURS.
A.

Vague statements

B.

Unspecified verbs :

“He ruined the relationship” (how, what way?). “I am scared” (of what)

C.

Specify comparison:

“He is lazy” (compared to whom)

D.

Empty nouns:

respect, love, anger, depression

E.

Generalization:

all, none, always, never

F.

Cannot/will not vs. doesn’t /did not

G.

Characterizations

lazy, aggressive

H.

Challenge claims:

“How do you know you feel depressed”

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