How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Families | Page 225



Reframing: Reframe some of the constraining ideas presented by the family. Relabelling in a positive
way, ideas and descriptions given by family members, in a manner which is consistent with their
realities. Circular questions are often most helpful in opening up reframes with the family.



Developing new stories and explanations: Either by facilitating the family’s generation of new ideas and
narratives, or the introduction of these ideas by the therapist. All family members will have stories about
their lives, the lives of other family members, and the life of the family. They will prioritise certain
information from the world around them to build these stories and neglect other aspects. Exploration of
neglected information may open up the development of stories to become stories that are more helpful
to the family in coping with their concerns. Information which is often neglected often concerns:
 Successes & Solutions
 Strengths
 Exceptions
 Alternative views from the network

8.3

Develop family understanding about behaviours and beliefs

As therapy ends it will be important for the therapist to work with the family to develop and encourage their
understanding of the process of the development of difficulties. This may be helpful in equipping the family
with the ability to recognise the development of such processes in the future. Particular attention should be
paid to:
 Underlying family interactional patterns.
 Motivations for assumptions, behaviours and feelings.
 Understanding of a family member’s reactions to other’s behaviours.
8.4

Collaborative ending decision

The timing of ending is not always obvious and in aiming to make the ending process a collaborative
process the therapist and therapy team should be alert to a number of signals in sessions which may indicate
that therapy may soon draw to a close. These include:


Positive feedback from the family: the family situation or the issues they presented are reported as
improved or improving. The family report having made changes in other areas of their lives.



Negative feedback from the therapy: The family report dissatisfaction about the therapy, or the progress
they are making. This is often done through expressing the views of a family member absent from
therapy.



Therapist notices changes: Missed sessions by the family. Changes in the level of engagement in
therapy. Therapist notices positive changes in the way the family are interacting during sessions, for
example they are beginning to use new narratives, or are beginning to comment in a different way on
their relationships and the issues with which they are struggling. The relationship to therapy may
change, with the family becoming more confident in their own abilities, resources and solutions, and
attributing change to this.

If it seems that ending therapy is indicated it is important for the therapist to hear from everyone their
thoughts and feelings about ending therapy and make this a collaborative decision. To do this the therapist
and therapy team must share their thoughts about ending with each other and the family. The team should
consider the following issues and then gather the family’s views on these.


Whether the family might feel it was appropriate to end therapy, do they feel they have achieved what
they set out to achieve?



How might the family prefer to end therapy, would they like a follow up appointment or would they like
to re-contact the team if necessary?



Might the family feel it would be important to engineer systems of support, before therapy ends?



With whom should the team share information about the therapy and what has been achieved, e.g.
referrer, school.

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