How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Families

TAKING SIDE & MEDIATING. In contrast to Bowen's belief in the importance of neutrality, another influential family therapist, Zuk (1981) discusses practical applications of working with triangles in family therapy. Zuk terms his triadic-based technique go-between process because it relies on the therapists "taking and trading roles... of the mediator and side-taker". The mediator is one person mediating between at least two others. The side-taker joins one person in coalition against another. Zuk (1981) outlines three steps involved in the go-between process (p. 38).    In step 1, the therapist works on initiating conflict. In step 2, the therapists moves into the role of the go-between. In step 3, the therapist assumes the role of side-taker. In all three steps it is important to keep the interactions focused on the present. Past events preclude the therapist's involvement in mediating or side-taking. Because triangles constantly move around, the current permutation might be different from the past. The goal of the therapist is to change the pathogenic relating around into a more productive way of relating. THE EMPTY CHAIR The empty chair technique, most often utilized by Gestalt therapists (Perls, Hefferline, & Goodman, 1985), has been adapted to family therapy. In one scenario, a partner may express his or her feelings to a spouse (empty chair), then play the role of the spouse and carry on a dialogue. Expressions to absent family, parents, and children can be arranged through utilizing this technique. FAMILY COUNCIL MEETINGS Family council meetings are organized to provide specific times for the family to meet and share with one another. The therapist might prescribe council meetings as homework, in which case a time is set and rules are outlined. The council should encompass the entire family, and any absent members would have to abide by decisions. The agenda may include any concerns of the family. Attacking others during this time is not acceptable. Family council meetings help provide structure for the family, encourage full family participation, and facilitate communication. STRATEGIC ALLIANCES This technique, often used by strategic family therapists, involves meeting with one member of the family as a supportive means of helping that person change. Individual change is expected to affect the entire family system. The individual is often asked to behave or respond in a different manner. This technique attempts to disrupt a circular system or behaviour pattern. PRESCRIBING INDECISION The stress level of couples and families often is exacerbated by a faulty decision-making process. Decisions not made in these cases become problematic in themselves. When straightforward interventions fail, paradoxical interventions often can produce change or relieve symptoms of stress. Such is the case with prescribing indecision. The indecisive behaviour is reframed as an example of caring or taking appropriate time on important matters affecting the family. A directive is given to not rush into anything or make hasty decisions. The couple is to follow this directive to the letter. PUTTING THE CLIENT IN CONTROL OF THE SYMPTOM This technique, widely used by strategic family therapists, attempts to place control in the hands of the individual or system. The therapist may recommend, for example, the continuation of a symptom such as anxiety or worry. Specific directives are given as to when, where, and with whom, and for what amount of time one should do these things. As the client follows this paradoxical directive, a sense of control over the symptom often develops, resulting in subsequent change. 181

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