How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Families

V/ INTERVENTION TECHNIQUES Intervention techniques are directives given by the therapist to guide a family's interactions towards more productive outcomes. Reframing is a method used to recast a particular conflict or situation in a less threatening light. A father who constantly pressures his son regarding his grades may be seen as a threatening figure by the son. Reframing this conflict would involve focusing on the father's concern for his son's future and helping the son to "hear" his father's concern instead of constant demands for improvement. Another technique has the therapist placing a particular conflict or situation under the family's control. What this means is, instead of a problem controlling how the family acts, the family controls how the problem is handled. This requires the therapist to give specific directives as to how long members are to discuss the problem, who they discuss it with, and how long these discussions should last. As members carry out these directives, they begin to develop a sense of control over the problem, which helps them to better deal with it effectively. RELATIONSHIP EXPERIMENTS. “Relationship experiments are behavioural tasks assigned to family members by the therapist to first expose and then alter the dysfunctional relationship process in the family system” (Guerin, 2002, p. 140). Most often, these experiments are assigned as homework, and they are commonly designed to reverse pursuerdistancer relationships and/or address the issues related to triangulation. DETRIANGULATION Relationship experiments are incorporated within Guerin’s five-step process for neutralization of symptomatic triangles in which he (1) identifies the triangle, (2) delineates the triangle’s structure and movement, (3) reverses the direction of the movement, (4) exposes the emotional process, and (5) addresses the emotional process to augment family functionality. COACHING. Bowen used coaching with well-motivated family members who had achieved a reasonable degree of selfdifferentiation. To coach is to help people identify triggers to emotional reactivity, look for alternative responses, and anticipate desired outcomes. Coaching is supportive, but is not a rubber-stamp: It seeks to build individual independence, encouraging confidence, courage, and emotional skill in the person. I-POSITIONS. I-positions are clear and concise statements of personal opinion and belief that are offered without emotional reactivity. When stress, tension, and emotional reactions increase, I-positions help individual family members to step-back from the experience and communicate from a more centred, rational, and stabilized position. Bowen therapists model I-positions within sessions when family members become emotionally reactive, and as family members are able to take charge of their emotions, Bowen therapists also coach them in the use of I-statements. DISPLACEMENT STORIES. Displacement stories are usually implemented through the use of film or videotape, although storytelling and fantasized solutions have also been used. The function of a displacement story is to provide a family or family members with an external stimulus (film, video, book or story) that relates to the emotional process and triangulation present in the family, but allows them to be considered in a less defensive or reactive manner. Films, like “I Never Sang For My Father,” “Ordinary People,” or “Avalon” have all been used by Bowen therapists to highlight family interactions and consequences and to suggest resolutions of a more functional nature. 180

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