How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Families | Page 146

Step 2: Enactment
Give each member a chance to talk, to spark enactment.
Enactment, as explained previously, allows for clearer structural inferences due to more direct
demonstration.
Enmeshed families tend to interrupt each other, while disengaged families are more passive while one or
more members are expressing themselves.
Therapists can also view deficiencies in executive control on the part of parents.
Step 3: structural mapping
Broadening the problem from the identified patient to the family structure. Assertions and observations of
structure based on initial sessions are refined over time, especially as the family becomes more familiar with
the therapist, and works through initial chaos.
A combination of the presenting problem and structural observations is the main effort taken in this step.
Step 4: highlighting and modifying interactions
It is important to know when to intervene, and be forceful. Intensity: using a strong and forceful manner of
speaking to exceed familial thresholds of not acknowledging challenges to the way they view their current
situation.
This is a skill involving controlling speaking volume, choice of words, conversational pacing, tone and
other elements of speech. Sometimes this is a matter of repetition across multiple contexts.
shaping competence: “like altering the direction of the flow.” : Reinforcement of desirable patterns and
interactions, in order to highlight the already present functional choices in a client’s repertoire.
Initial therapist mistake is to point out mistakes and give criticism without looking for successes to be
reinforced. This is made up for through observational practice and situational awareness of such successes.
Therapists should avoid taking over for the parents, though some limited argument can be made for
“modelling” of ideal behaviours.
Step 5: boundary making
Strengthening weak boundaries, loosening rigid ones, and establishing parental hierarchy.
In enmeshed families, conversational interruptions and intrusions are prevented. Individual or subgroup
sessions, separate from the rest of the family, may also help
Disengaged families are challenged to not avoid conflict: Differences must be discussed before such
families can come closer. Members of such families have difficulty seeing how their behavior affects others
in the group.
Challenging family members to help each other change is one method of fostering improvement in
disengaged families.
Step 6: unbalancing
As opposed to changes between subsystems, unbalancing aims to change relationships within a subsystem.
Members in conflict and balanced in opposition are stuck, not moving toward progress. A therapist joins an
individual or subsystem and takes sides to unbalance the situation. What may seem like antagonism from
the therapist is actually a challenge for the clients to confront their fear of change.
Unbalancing underscores the key point that families have to be in action to change.

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