How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Families | Page 130
MORE ABOUT TRIANGLES
1. Cross-generational coalitions
Cross-generational coalitions (i.e. mother-father-child triangles) are associated with child behaviour
problems.
In studies of adolescent antisocial behaviour, differences in dyadic interaction between families with a child
with behaviour problems and families with a well adjusted child have been evaluated.
Empirical studies show that on average:
Children with behaviour problems are more aligned with their mothers and more disengaged from their
fathers than are the well-adjusted adolescents.
Parents of children with behaviour problems have more discordant relations than the parents of welladjusted adolescents.
Within families of well-adjusted adolescents, the parents are more supportive of each other than the
adolescent.
This suggests that strengthening the parental dyad through the resolution of marital problems, and
promoting more positive father-adolescent relations will weaken the cross-generational coalition and
ameliorate the symptomatic behaviour.
In another study , the family triangle was defined as a family systems construct used to describe family
communication patterns in which a dyad cannot cope with demands for intimacy or conflict resolution. As
such, triangles occur to reduce tension between two people, but are problematic because they do not provide
solutions.
2. The authors reviewed three family triangles:
Triangulation: occurs when a parent demands that a child side with her or him against the other parent.
Detouring: occurs when spouses ignore the issues in their own relationship and focus on the child's
issues.
Cross-generational coalition: exists when one parent sides with a child against another parent.
This differs from triangulation because it is the parent who initiates the coalition and the attachment
between the parent and the child exceeds that between the parents.
All three family triangles are considered to have negative developmental effects on the child.
They create a false sense of attachment and security and do not give the child the opportunity to
develop a healthy separate identity. For this reason the study considers the "impact of crossgenerational coalitions on interpersonal intimacy and view intimacy as a developmental task relevant to
young adults"
Children with a cross-generational attachment have larger intellectual-intimacy, emotional-intimacy
and sexual-intimacy discrepancy scores.
Cross-generational coalitions also affect the ability to successfully negotiate psycho-social
developmental tasks. Tests reveal that, even while away from home, children are still affected by the
family triangle.
"Detriangulating" can contribute considerably in resolving intimacy issues. Detriangulating involves:
a) not talking with one parent about the other parent,
b) teaching the client about triangulation patterns,
c) the client becoming more objective and less emotional with his or her parents.
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