How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Families | Page 112

Michael and Martha became increasingly critical of Amy, but also latched onto any signs she might be
doing a little better. They gave her her own phone, bought the clothes she "just had to have," and gave her a
car for her sixteenth birthday. Many of these things were done in the name of making Amy feel special and
important, hoping that would motivate her to do better. Throughout all the turmoil surrounding Amy, Marie
presented few problems.
[Analysis: The parents' permissiveness is just as important in perpetuating the problems in Amy as the
critical focus on her. As a teenager, Amy is just as critical of her parents as they are of her. Marie is a more
mature person than Amy, but she is not free of the family problem; for example, she sides with her parents
in blaming Amy for the family turmoil.]

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