How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Families | Page 266
Examples of open-ended questions:
Tell me about your relationship with your husband.
How do you see your future?
Tell me about the children in this photograph.
What is the purpose of this rule?
Why did you choose that answer?
10. PROCESS QUESTIONS.
The most common Bowen technique consists of asking process questions that are designed to get clients to think
about the role they play in relating with members of their family. Bowen's style tended to be controlled,
somewhat detached, and cerebral. In working with a couple, for example, he expected each partner to talk to
him rather than to talk directly to each other in the session. His calm style of questioning was aimed at helping
each partner think about particular issues that are problematic with their family of origin. One goal is to resolve
the fusion that may exist between the partners and to maximize each person's self-differentiation both from the
family of origin and the nuclear family system.
A Bowen therapist is more concerned with managing his or her own neutrality than with having the "right"
question at the right time. Still, questions that emphasize personal choice are very important. They calm
emotional response and invite a rational consideration of alternatives.
Examples of process questions:
A therapist attempting to help a woman who has been divorced by her husband may ask:
"Do you want to continue to react to him in ways that keep the conflict going, or would you rather
feel more in charge of your life?"
"What other ways could you consider responding if the present way isn't very satisfying to you and is
not changing him?"
"Given what has happened recently, how do you want to react when you're with your children and the
subject of their father comes up?"
Notice that these process questions are asked of the person as part of a relational unit. This type of questioning
is called circular, or is said to have circularity, because the focus of change is in relation to others who are
recognized as having an effect on the person's functioning.
11. LINEAR QUESTIONS
Direct linear questions can often be useful in gathering information from the system and clarifying information
given, especially at the beginning of therapy. Linear questions can be built up in a circular manner around the
family by asking different family members the same/similar linear questions.
Examples of linear questions:
How old are you?
Where do you go to school?
What do you do if you are upset?
What do you do after that?
12. CIRCULAR QUESTIONS
Circular questions are aimed at looking at difference and therefore are a way of introducing new information
into the system. They are effective at illuminating the interconnectedness of the family sub-systems and ideas. A
variety of c