How to Coach Yourself and Others Coaching Families | Page 194

a. Control intensity by the regulation of affect, repetition and duration
b. Don’t dilute the intensity through overqualifying, apologizing or rambling
c. Shape competence, e.g. "It’s too noisy in here. Would you quiet the kids."
6. Boundary making and boundary strengthening
a. Seating
b. Seeing subgroups or individuals to foster boundaries and indivduation
c. Clarify circular causation
7. Unbalancing may be necessary
a. Taking sides
b. Challenging
c. Directives
8. Challenging the family’s assumptions may be necessary
a. Teaching may be necessary
b. Pragmatic fictions
c. Paradoxes
d. Therapist sometimes must challenge the way family members perceive reality, changing
the way family member relate to each other offers alternative views of reality.
9. Therapists must create techniques to fit each unique family

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