How to Coach Yourself and Others Beware of Manipulation | Page 48

Example: Mother yells at a child when running into the street. If the child stops running into the
street the yelling is positive punishment.
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Negative reinforcement: the taking away of an aversive stimulus to increase certain behavior or
response.
Example: Putting ointment on a bug bite to soothe an itch. If using ointment on bug bites
increases, the removal of an itch is a negative reinforcer.

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Negative punishment (omission training): the taking away of an appetitive stimulus to decrease
a certain behavior.
Example: A teenager comes home an hour after curfew and the parents take away the teen's cell
phone for two days. If the frequency of coming home after curfew decreases, the removal of the
phone is negative punishment.

The following table illustrates that punishment and reinforcement are a function of the presentation or
removal of a stimulus and the valence of the stimulus.
Appetitive (pleasant) stimulus Aversive (unpleasant) stimulus
Presented

positive reinforcement

positive punishment

Taken away

negative punishment

negative reinforcement

Distinguishing "positive" from "negative" can be difficult, especially when there are lots of
consequences and the necessity of the distinction is often debated. For example, in a very warm room,
a current of external air serves as positive reinforcement because it is pleasantly cool or negative
reinforcement because it removes uncomfortably hot air. Some reinforcement can be simultaneously
positive and negative, such as a drug addict taking drugs for the added euphoria and eliminating
withdrawal symptoms. Many behavioral psychologists simply refer to reinforcement or
punishment—without polarity—to cover all consequent environmental changes. Others would disagree
with the above examples because there is no behavior that is increasing or decreasing in frequency.
2. Positive reinforcement:
Includes praise, superficial charm, superficial sympathy (crocodile tears), excessive apologizing,
(false) promises, money, approval, gifts, attention, facial expressions such as a forced laugh or smile,
and public recognition.
Manipulators know very well that “A man convinced against his will, remains of the same opinion
still”: If somebody really likes you, almost anything you say will work. If not, nothing will.
Manipulators often are friendly people, who are good at networking and socializing. They sell
themselves first, before they sell anything else.
Therefore they will
d. Become friends with the person they want to manipulate.
e. At first, only talk about subjects both parties agree on and confirm they agree with the
feelings of the other and think like them. Even if they do not agree, they will probably
say “you’re probably right” or, “that sounds like an interesting point of view”.
f. Listen well: Make the others talk about themselves and pay attention to what they are
saying

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