How to Coach Yourself and Others Beware of Manipulation | Page 45

3.5 How to deal with a manipulative personality
Acknowledge the manipulative attempt and respond calmly
The best way to deal with a manipulative personality is to acknowledge their ways outright and
respond calmly, and even turn their own tactics against them. The manipulator is counting on you to be
surprised, confused, and overreact to them, so don’t be. If they say “After all that I’ve done for you!”
reply “I’m very grateful for all that you’ve done. Why do you think I’m not? That’s not very nice of
you.”
Once the manipulator realizes that they can’t affect you in the way that they want, and can’t influence
your thoughts or actions, they will move on. And even if they don’t — you’re safe. Manipulation is
all about control, and once you figure out the manipulative personality, they are no longer in control.
Listen to yourself.
In all of the possible manipulative situations, whether or not the signs are easy for you to spot, it is very
important to listen to yourself and how you feel about the situation. Do you feel oppressed, pressured,
obliged to do things for this person that you'd rather not do? Does their behavior seem to impact you
endlessly, so that after one form of assistance, you are expected to grant yet more help and support?
Your answers should serve as a true guide to where your relationship with this person is headed next.

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