How to Coach Yourself and Others Beware of Manipulation | Page 28

2.6 How a manipulator works
2.6.1 What is the basic manipulative strategy of a psychopath?
According to Robert D. Hare and Paul Babiak,
psychopaths are always on the lookout for individuals to scam or swindle. The psychopathic approach
includes three phases:

1. Assessment phase
Some psychopaths are opportunistic, aggressive predators who will take advantage of almost anyone
they meet, while others are more patient, waiting for the perfect, innocent victim to cross their path. In
each case, the psychopath is constantly sizing up the potential usefulness of an individual as a source of
money, power, sex, or influence. Some psychopaths enjoy a challenge while others prey on people who
are vulnerable. During the assessment phase, the psychopath is able to determine a potential victim’s
weak points and will use those weak points to seduce.

2. Manipulation phase
Once the psychopath has identified a victim, the manipulation phase begins. During the manipulation
phase, a psychopath may create a persona or mask, specifically designed to ‘work’ for his or her target.
A psychopath will lie to gain the trust of their victim. Psychopaths' lack of empathy and guilt allows
them to lie with impunity; they do not see the value of telling the truth unless it will help get them what
they want.
As interaction with the victim proceeds, the psychopath carefully assesses the victim's persona. The
victim's persona gives the psychopath a picture of the traits and characteristics valued in the victim.
The victim's persona may also reveal, to an astute observer, insecurities or weaknesses the victim
wishes to minimize or hide from view. As an ardent student of human behavior, the psychopath will
then gently test the inner strengths and needs that are part of the victim's private self and eventually
build a personal relationship with the victim.
The persona of the psychopath - the “personality” the victim is bonding with - does not really exist. It
is built on lies, carefully woven together to entrap the victim. It is a mask, one of many, custom-made
by the psychopath to fit the victim's particular psychological needs and expectations. The victimization
is predatory in nature; it often leads to severe financial, physical or emotional harm for the individual.
Healthy, real relationships are built on mutual respect and trust; they are based on sharing honest
thoughts and feelings. The victim's mistaken belief that the psychopathic bond has any of these
characteristics is the reason it is so successful.

3. Abandonment phase
The abandonment phase begins when the psychopath decides that his or her victim is no longer useful.
The psychopath abandons his or her victim and moves on to someone else. In the case of romantic
relationships, a psychopath will usually seal a relationship with their next target before abandoning his
or her current victim.
Sometimes, the psychopath has three individuals on whom he or she is running game: the one who has
been recently abandoned, who is being toyed with and kept in the picture in case the other two do not
work out; the one who is currently being played and is about to be abandoned; and the third, who is
being groomed by the psychopath, in anticipation of abandoning the current "mark".

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