How to Coach Yourself and Others Beware of Manipulation | Page 170
59. Creating Curiosity
If you can create curiosity you can draw people towards you, making them want to know more. Two
principles to use are stimulation and partiality.
Stimulation
Curiosity is a state of arousal, so you need to provoke them and spark their interest. Stimulation is like
lighting a fire. Once you have got it going, it keeps going and becomes all-consuming.
Novelty
Stimulation can come from the interest created when we encounter something new. Novelty makes us
want to explore further to identify opportunities and threats. We also get the buzz of learning from
playing with new things ('Oh, that's what it's for!').
So talk about new things. Scan the news (a word that itself promises novelty). Look for gadgets to
discuss. Ask what new things they have found. Be interested, amazed and surprised.
Losing out
When others have something that we do not, we become curious, wanting to find out what it is. The
same effect happens with knowledge and is the driving force behind gossip and social chatter. When
we go away and return, an early question we have is 'What's been going on?'
So talk about other people, what they have and what they may be getting. Talk about what others have
done and what their plans are. Play up (as appropriate) scurrilous chatter and impressed amazement.
Puzzles
Problems, puzzles and mysteries provide interesting stimulation where we enjoy exploring and trying
out things to see what works. The phrase 'I wonder if...' is a classic example of puzzle curiosity in
action.
So present them with puzzles and other unsolved problems. Ask their advice. Ask for their opinion on
why things have happened. Get them involved in brainstorming solutions and trying things out.
Words
Use words that stimulate and create a desire to know more. These should evoke emotion either by
showing your emotion and thereby triggering empathetic emotion, or by rational appeal to needs and
objectives.
Stimulating words to provoke curiosity include:
•Unexpectedness: surprising, amazing
•Novelty: new, different, changed
•Different: odd, unusual, weird, strange
•Scarcity: special, secret
•Benefit: exciting, interesting, thrilling, helpful, useful
Partiality
Curiosity comes from partial knowledge which promises benefit. Telling them everything satisfies
curiosity. To get them going, give them a taste, not the whole meal.
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