Journey To The West : Common Sense Edition
The ISF Academy , Lin , Sophia - 11
Think about it . The Monkey King waited under the mountain for five hundred years . He must have had back pains . There is just no way he wouldn ’ t have had a stab in the butt , or just pain in general .
Some people may argue he was powerful , ‘ He wouldn ’ t have pain !’ Here ’ s what I say back ... ‘ Let ’ s put you under a mountain that binds all your magic so you can ’ t use it for 500 years , and see how you turn out !’ Then you ’ d carefully think about , and nod slowly . You ’ d be astonished at the idea of me being able to get hold of an idea so incredible : The Monkey King definitely had back pains growing up .
Now , the Monkey King is an all-powerful , immortal , strong … monkey . It sounds weird , but hey ! This book is one of the four great classical novels in Chinese Literature , or is it ?
Now , yes , normally , SunWuKong , ( the Monkey King ) would have no trouble breaking out of this mountain , but nooooooo . The Buddha turned his hand into a mountain and wrote down a magical phrase on the mountain , so he couldn ’ t get out . Which makes me wonder … without his magic , and strength , was SunWuKong really anything ? ( P . S . I say no .)
Okay , it ’ s getting really annoying to have to write SunWuKong or The Monkey King every time I address him , so I ’ m just going to call him Sunny , okay ? Great .
So , because I am a brilliant person , I will point out everything ( almost ) ( possibly ) ( ok just like two ) in Journey to The West wrong for you and it will be called : If Journey to The West Had Common Sense . To ( which you gasp , completely flabbergasted , and say , ‘ Common Sense ?? What ’ s that ?’ Then I ’ d hand you this short piece of non- ( ish ) fiction . Warning : Do not read this if you are new to the world of sarcasm .)
Number 2 : I know that in the story the monk goes for a journey to the west to clear his sins , but he was warned that it was deadly , dangerous , and you could quite possibly die . But of course , he just does it anyway , without a second thought . Words cannot express how weird that is . You are not experienced , not equipped , or well briefed on what to do when something wrong happens , but you ’ re going off to the land of unknown with a monkey , pig , and a water monster to protect you . * clap clap clap .* Oh , and a horse . Why ? Just … why ? In the modern world , ( in case you didn ’ t know ) most people care about their health and most people don ’ t really want to die . Emphasis on “ most .”
Number 3 : I get that it ’ s actually a piece of fiction and the creativity and imagination inside this book is very , very creative , but one moment I don ’ t get was why the monkey king was born from a rock . How do you name yourself king of the monkeys ( King Sunny the Magnificent !) when you were born from a rock ?! Like , how do you keep your street cred when everyone knows you were born from a rock ? And what about parents ? Did he just … pop out ? I don ’ t ––
But here ends the roughly 500 word masterpiece I have given you . Before you go away , and go about with all your normal stuff , I have just one thing to say to you : You ’ re welcome .