Hong Kong Young Writers Anthologies Fiction Group 3 | Page 65

Restart, Repeat, and Replay
Harrow International School Hong Kong, Chao, Catherine - 14
Who am I?
All I could feel was the pain piercing into my skin and the fear slipping into my thoughts.
Something ached inside me. I felt more pain than I knew a human body could bear as a rush of terror
washed through me. Just like everything else, my mind was in a chaotic state. A mess. I could feel the sweat
trickling down my cheeks as fear began to creep into the emptiness in my heart. I found myself lying in the
middle of a deserted street, yet a quiet whisper tingling through my thoughts told me something felt familiar.
I froze as a million questions flashed through my mind. I couldn’t recall a thing. My memories were like
broken pieces of glass scattered into the darkness. If I tried to reach for the shattered fragments, the sharp
edges would pierce into my skin, pricking my finger with an unbearable sting. I was left in a blank state of
confusion as panic replaced the pain in my memories. They gradually blurred and dimmed. But then there
was none.
5 year has passed since this incident, yet that scene continued to haunt every day, every hour, every
minute of my life. I had long wondered what truly happened, why this feeling of emptiness always lingered
behind me, why I always seemed to be anticipating for something to change, yet I never knew what. The
paranoia has been chasing me, hunting me down, suffocating me in an ocean of panic, not giving me a
single chance to breathe. Is this truly all my own imagination?
As I stepped out of the house, the rain began to pour, droplets hammering onto the cold, lifeless
ground. The lightning cracked the morning into two, followed by a deafening roar of thunder. Not even a
ray of sunlight was penetrable through the overcast. Not even a ray of hope. I could barely hear myself think
in this tumultuous chaos, all that was left in me was nothing but the panic lurking through my thoughts
once again. I ran as fast as I could towards the distance, trying to escape from this merciless reality. Along the
way, I tripped, fell, and braced myself for the pain that has yet to come. But it never did. Surprised and
confused, I gradually blinked open my eyes. The first thing that caught my sight were those beautiful eyes,
those which sparkled like the stars in the midnight sky. He caught me. His strong, comforting arms were
wrapped around my waist, steadying me from the fall. All my senses screamed at me to run, but my heart
seemed to say the opposite. I just stood there, frozen. I could see the concern in his expression as he
mouthed certain words to me, but all I could hear was the pounding of my own heart as my mind clouded
with immense feelings that I have never came across before. Something new. Something different.
Everything around me seemed to have gradually faded away from my sight as I got lost in his features, his
voice. Him. The eye of calmness didn’t last long. I snapped myself back into reality. Alarmed, I jumped back
from his arms as I regained my balance. I could feel my heart racing rapidly, so strong it was as though
something was crashing into my chest every second, the blood rushing through my body like tides in the
ocean as I felt my cheeks blaze with heat. I fidgeted in agitation, refusing to look him in the eye. He seemed
to have seen through my panic and embarrassment as he nodded politely. “My name is Zheng He.” He said,
leaning in closer, his breath in sync with mine. I felt something flutter in my stomach, so distinct it was
undeniable. Awareness. Those pale blue eyes seemed to pierce right through me as the corner of his mouth
lifted a little, not quite a smile. I looked away from his intensity. “Do you feel it too?” He whispered, his
voice soft yet passionate. Those words left me uncertain, self-conscious, jittery. At that moment, I knew
that my fairy tale has begun, but what I never anticipated was the end which has dawned upon me long
before hope has even made its first step.
“I’m travelling to India.”
Silence echoed around us as his final words struck me. His voice trailed slowly, as though his words
are unwilling to take flight. I clutched my chest, each and every letter stabbing right through my heart. My
vision blurred as I struggled to keep my hopes up. I pretended to be ignorant about all the risks, even
though anyone with a speck of perception would have noticed that my heart was pounding in terror. I was
absorbed in my thoughts, oblivious to my surroundings. “What if you don’t come back?” I whispered,
fighting back my tears. There was a moment of hesitation. “I’ll definitely come back.” He replied. Despite
trying to appear unperturbed, his voice was quivering. There was just a glimmer of doubt in his eyes, only
for a second, but I saw it. I could see the pain in his expression as all my fears returned with force. The
deathly silence continued to haunt us, casting a shadow over our voices. I wanted to yell, I wanted to
scream, but nothing came out of my mouth. It was as if the impact had knocked every wisp of air from my
lungs. I felt completely lost, as though I was drifting in middle of the ocean. Directionless. Powerless.
Nothing could change this and we both knew it. His eyes widened with shock as I made my final decision.
It wasn’t an easy choice, but I spoke my last words without a single regret. “I’m coming with you.”