Addiction
Canadian International School of Hong Kong , Wong , Ashley - 13
A loud noise echoes through the pub as the man ’ s zhōng hit the surface of the wooden table . Laughter fills the room , joy levitates in the air . From just outside the main entry hopeless shanghai citizens in their dirt covered tang suits can be seen sobbing and weeping as their desire to fulfill their addiction catches up to them . Rickshaw men everywhere hurrying down the road , since each second of working time counts . A clear division between the wealthy and poor . It is pathetic , how their low paying jobs can ’ t afford to satisfy their cravings . The immense feeling of want , and the desperation to please their unattainable need for the drug can drive a man crazy .
A seemingly innocent looking plant , a child with big blue eyes on the surface , but a murderer at heart . Do not judge a book by it ' s cover they say , they are the ones with no willpower , no strength or self control falling into the dark abyss with no return .
I look up from my dress shoes , my vision expands as I arise from my deep thoughts . A grin emerges on my face . The number of deals I made this month is astonishing . Tonight is a night to forget , an escape from reality . Being the head of the opium smuggling industry has put a lot of weight on my shoulders . It is time to let go of my responsibilities , to enjoy one night with my colleagues .
A couple of conversations start at the table . We all sip on our drinks and joke around . Time passes by incredibly fast . In a blink of an eye , it is midnight . Alcohol fills my system , everything becomes a blur . I can ’ t think of anything at that moment . All I care about is living in the present .
After so many years in the business , never have I once thought to try the product I have been selling for a living . I have heard of its side effects , the rush you ’ ll feel , the excitement . Yet , I have also heard of the pain , the regrets , the screams . Tonight is going to be different . The thought of trying opium come across my mind . For the very first time , it feels like a good idea . A part of my brain knows for a fact that it is the alcohol that made me think this way , yet the idea sounds so tempting and irresistible .
No matter which direction I turn , someone can be seen lighting up their opium joints . At this point the only thing stopping me is the small bit of myself still left in me , the small bit which hasn ’ t been crazed by the over-piling amount of work I do everyday and the load of pressure from having to do everything perfectly for the past few years .
I thought over it once again with my intoxicated mind , and I convince myself this is indeed a good idea . I wrap my fingers around the bass of the joint my friend have given me , My drunken friends stand around me , encouraging and pushing me on . The wood makes contact with my lips , I inhale . My throat stings slightly as the smoke pervade my lungs . It has a bizarre effect on me , but it is amazing , I feel relaxed , joyful , much like how it has been described to me .
The rest of the night I spend with the joint clutched tightly in my grip . I haven ’ t put it down once , it stays with me , to fulfill my cravings . I gulp down a few more drinks , then I pass out just before the sun raises .
My surrounding is full of people who overdosed on alcohol . Panic , regret . The joint still clench solid in my hand . My month dry , I crave it , I feel like something is missing like an itch you can ’ t scratch . Bits and pieces of last night flash by my eyes , as I remember what I have done .
The one thing that I have been avoiding for my entire life , now chases me wherever I go like my own shadow . Remorse and shame floods me as I come to realization of what I have done , but it is too late to change anything . I burry my face into my hands , sobbing and weeping my heart out as I drown in my own tears filled with mixed emotions .
Tears no longer slide down my face , all I see is red , all I feel is disappointment and rage . I make my way to the mesmerizing door with wooden carvings . The next thing I know , I slam my head against the door repeatedly . So loud that people must have woken up because of it .