Safe Haven
Maryknoll Convent School ( Secondary Section ), Tong , Rachel - 16
“ O
i !”
I jumped , fingers darting instinctively away from the window pane I had been leaning on , to fumble at the undid fabric buttons that lined my collarbone to shoulder .
“ How many times have I told you ? This is private property ! Shoo , you peasant girl !”
I tugged at the hem of my tattered blouse which had rode up in my eager expedition in leaning over onto the glass pane in front of me as I turned , and found myself staring right into the narrow-eyed fury of the caretaker of the property . Startled at the proximity , I bowed my head until the bangs that usually grazed the top of my brows stuck out towards the ground at an awkward ninety-degree angle , and apologized in feverish Shanghainese as I backtracked down the grassy lawn to the pavement that led me to the city center .
I didn ’ t really understand why I did it . Why my feet took the steering wheel every single day when I went out to run errands , why it brought me to this manor to stare into the big glass windows at the dainty little rich people sat all around in plush sofas , the men making their grand gestures as they spoke , while the women crossed their legs under their cheongsams and clinked their little black heels against the wooden floors as they set them down . I guess I could call that my only source of entertainment , as my father had become a drunk after my mother ’ s death a year ago , and things started going downhill along with his problem since then , with him constantly carrying the heavy raincloud- the risk of losing his job as one of the guards of the city wall- around with us . Gone was my ability to laugh at the little things in life , and the only thing that made me smile , if not bitterly , was the rich and their overly-flaunted wealth .
As my feet auto-piloted me down the stone roads , I let myself sink into my own little negative world .
Suddenly , I felt myself being plucked out of my thoughts like a cork out of a bottle as the scent of buns wafted through the air , and my nose lifted itself to try catch it before it was too late . The Chans had put their stall out again , and a small crowd had already gathered around in the shade of the roof-tile lined tops of the buildings to get a taste of the infamous spongey delight . My hand immediately reached down my right pocket- my left had a hole I had not yet had time to repair- and pulled out the few round coins I had on me . But I hesitated . Father had told me to buy a bottle of wine for him , and handed me the money that very morning . Feverishly counting them off , I prayed silently to the city gods that I would have enough for a bun that would mean my first lunch in months- as we could only afford dinner now . And lo and behold , a plunging sense of disappointment came along with the realization that I only had enough for a bottle of the cheapest wine in the city . My feet started inching me across the street , my hunger taking dominance , but with the intrinsic obedience of Chinese girls kicking in , I finally turned away and ducked , instead , into the shop where they sold wine and paid for a bottle . My stomach was growling like a little lion by this time and my mood darkened to a pitch black .
I didn ’ t go back to my father straight after that . I needed time alone . So instead of moving towards the backstreet that would bring me to the rusty door of the house I was forced to call home , I turned away and started walking down the path I used to go on when I was a little girl . I let my lip slide under my upper row of teeth as memories of my late mother started making their way into my brain . For once , I let them flood , adding and pushing until my throat started burning and the same burn passed through my nose , which pushed at the moisture that had started to well up in my tear ducts .
Before long , I had reached the undergrove that bridged the city and the city wall that wrapped its pale yellow arms around the place , and finally left the clashing noise and color behind as I started making my way down the deserted trees .
Apart from the birds that chittered ahead and the crickets calling back at them with serene approval , I was quite alone .
At least I thought I was . After a snap of shoe against twig , I was not so sure .
I turned , my eyes wide open and my heart rate picking up , and scanned the trees behind me . There was no one in sight . Shaking my head to clear it , my feet picked up into a light jog that pushed me through the trees in seconds and brought me to the wall . My fingers tumbled over the tiles of stone as I ran down it towards the usual crack which led me to my escape , and , as I had expected , I found the hole in the wall still intact , the