I turned my head back down again , to see that LeLe was still staring at me intently with those wizened eyes of his . He cocked his head in that half smile of his and turned back to the stars . “ They are beautiful , aren ’ t they ?” He said to himself . “ Just like how the world should be .”
I tilted my head . “ Why would you say that ?”
LeLe didn ’ t speak for a while , his onyx eyes fixed upon the glittering orbs above . “ I ’ ve seen you around here .” He finally said . “ Around the docks . Shanghai is certainly no place for good people like you .
I snorted incredulously . “ Me ? Good ? You should get your brain checked , kid .” I ran my fingers through my sandy hair , now streaked with gray . “ I ’ m nothing but honorable . In fact ,” I lowered my head . “ I ’ m deplorable .” Pulling the poison away from my lips , I exhaled , watching the grey wisps ascend .
I stopped for a moment , the weight pressing against me growing heavier with each passing second . I struggled to breathe , my chest rising and falling in short shallow breaths , hands trembling from the effort . Closing my eyes , the chill seemed to settle , and the tense atmosphere dissipated .
“ Just the other day , I let a little girl die .” The words slipped past my lips before I could stop them . “ She couldn ’ t have been older than 5 , just like my little girl back home , had she lived .” I let out a half-smile , half-grimace . “ I saw her , heard her screaming for help , but my legs just wouldn ’ t run fast enough .” I buried my face in my hands , the stench of fresh blood still lingering in my nostrils . “ By the time I got there , the attackers had already gone , and she …” I paused for a moment , willing my limbs to remain still . “ She was too .”
Lifting my face to the sky , I felt the numbing cold seep beneath my skin , whilst the moon peered down indifferently . How could something so beautiful , be so cold ?
“ I thought I had nothing else to lose , but I was wrong . I ’ d lost my humanity in that moment .” My shoulders sagged . “ Now I ’ m just another foolish man who thought he could change things .”
The boy said nothing , leaving the two of us sitting in silence for a while , watching comets streak by , their long tails leaving behind silvery ribbons in their wake . “ Is that so ?” He finally responded . “ Personally , I think you policemen changed things .”
I raised an eyebrow , not meeting his eyes . “ How so ?”
“ For one , I used to have nothing .” Lele continued staring at the stars . “ No parents , no home , no hope , no reason to live . Nothing .” I was suddenly reminded that he was just a boy , no older than ten . “ You probably know this , but life around here isn ’ t easy . One slip-up , and you ’ ll end up as another body in the gutter . Like la ji . Trash .” The child noted with a calm indifference . “ I learnt how to survive , growing up in the slums . Learnt to cheat , lie and steal from others , and most importantly , I learnt to run away .”
“ But things changed when you guys got here .” I risked a glance over at the boy , whose mouth had begun to curve upwards . “ It was subtle , of course . The old man at the cornershop would look slightly happier . There would be fewer bodies lying in the gutter , and gradually , the nights felt warmer and safer than they had ever been before .”
The boy fiddled with the hem of his tattered shirt , stained sweat and tears . “ I stopped running away . I learnt to cook , sew and speak English , instead of lying and cheating for a living . I could eat a meal per day , and for the first time , I could live without the fear of being butchered in my sleep . And for the first time , I could see the beauty in life .” He closed his eyes wistfully . “ For the first time , I could hope , and I could dream .” He paused for a moment , his dark eyes reflecting something indiscernible .