Hong Kong Young Writers Anthologies Fiction 4-7 2019 | Page 260

She was left to wonder about these questions herself; she hadn’t dared to make friends during all this time
she was on board and pretended to be a mute in order to hide her real identity. She sat in her cabin and
passed a few troubled hours before twilight arrived.
*
*
*
It was dusk when Yuqing approached the Admiral’s cabin uneasily. It was located above the cabins where
she and the other doctors lived; the surroundings seemed much quieter compared to the chaos beneath
where small cabins were tightly packed.
Two servants saw her come nearer; they bowed and opened the wide wooden doors for her and followed
her as she entered.
There was no one in there apart from a tall man standing with his back to them, “You can both leave
now.” He addressed the servants, his voice deep and resonant.
“There is no need to pretend in front of me.” He said to Yuqing after they left, “Wu Yuqing, daughter of
the minister of the GuangLu bureau.”
Yuqing was startled when she heard her name, “How did you find out?”
“Your father brought you along to the Palace once. I recognized you the moment I saw you with Doctor
Li.”
“Why didn’t you report me?”
“I wouldn’t. Every one of us has our own struggles.” He paused, “Plus, no other doctors could compete
with your diligence.”
“I’ve always dreamed to be a doctor.” Yuqing swallowed hard and said, “My sister suffers from illnesses, I
have always wanted to cure her and help as many people as I can; but women are not allowed to be doctors
no matter how capable we are. I’d tried to escape from the fate of an arranged marriage.”
“Have you thought about the consequences of your actions?” His voice was frighteningly calm, “This is
why I called you in. Your sister made a desperate attempt to write a secret letter to me. She overheard some
of the conversation the night before your escape in the adjacent room, but she never thought you were
serious. General Lin was infuriated by it; he felt humiliated; this then led to a conflict between him and your
father. Lin made vital contributions to many battles and is valued greatly by the Emperor. No one dared to
say anything even if he backstabbed your father…”
“What happened to him?” Yuqing urged, sensing the seriousness of the situation.
The Admiral took a deep breath, “He is now expelled from the bureau and imprisoned. I don’t know
what would happen to him…and your mother…”
“What happened to my mother?”
“She committed suicide…she felt there was no one to rely on.” It took a long while for him to answer,
“I’m sorry.”
“Would we…make it back before…anything…happens?” Yuqing’s question was now punctuated by sobs.
Tears raced down her face like a waterfall.
“I don’t know.” He sighed; now facing her, “I could assign you a vessel, some skilled sailors and soldiers;
it’ll be quicker than our gigantic fleet if you travel back that way, but the sea can be very dangerous, you
wouldn’t want to risk it.”
Yuqing looked at him with her watery eyes, the Admiral had the most penetrating glare she had ever seen.
For an instant she suddenly became more determined than ever, “I’ll do it, Admiral.”
“But…”
“I will do it.” Yuqing gritted her teeth, “Admiral, maybe you don’t know me well enough, but once I put
my mind to something, no one can ever make me give up. It’s my fault that things turned out like this, now
I have to bear the consequences.”
There was a subtle change to the gaze of the Admiral – it was no longer a glare but showed a hint of
admiration, “I can’t help thinking what would become of you if you were born a man.” He said finally with
a weary smile, “You were either born in the wrong gender or in the wrong era.”
Yuqing lowered her eyes at his remark, “Could I depart tonight?”
“If that’s the best for you.”
She nodded and asked for approval, the Admiral granted her request and dismissed her. On her way out
she tried hard to refrain herself from bursting into tears, but to no avail. Memories of her family came
flooding back to her as she prayed for her father’s safety, If I don’t ever see you, father, she thought silently
to herself, I pray for us to be a family again in the afterlife; then I may be that daughter you and mother
wished for – who could make her family proud.
This will be the only remedy for the mistake I have made in this lifetime.