Hong Kong Young Writers Anthologies Fiction 4-7 2019 | Page 15

helped the general quickly told me to leave. I didn’t even receive a thank you. I knew that this medicine would help
my Hua. I told myself I would sneak back here and get the medicine during the darkest hour of the night. This was
Hua's only hope to make it through the next week.
It was almost the black of night. I went to go check on Hua, she was hot and pale. She looked sicker than
ever. My heart was running through my chest, racing a million beats per second. I knew I needed the medicine to save
her. I ran through the whole ship. The dark floorboards creaking with every step. Careful to not get caught but still fast
as ever. As I approached the cupboard I realised it was locked. Anger rising to my cheeks, I was mad at myself. How
could I have not thought of this? I looked everywhere, but no key was insight. I didn’t know what to do, but I had to
do this for my Hua. Suddenly I had a really bad feeling, I ran back to check on Hua. Every thought possible ran
through my mind as I ran through the dark hallways. I entered our little hideaway and saw Hua lying. She had no color
and didn’t make a single movement. As I ran up to her I rattled her but she just lied there. She didn’t even make a
sound.
She was dead.
Dead.
Death seems so simple. We are surrounded by death. We acknowledge it and we accept it. We merely nod to
death. But once death has stolen a loved one from us. These simple sayings and acknowledgments don’t matter
anymore. As I stood there with my precious angel lying in front of me dead because of me, because I couldn’t give her
the medicine she deserved. I knew I could have done more. The salty hot tears poured down my face, more and more.
Burning my eyes. My screams getting louder and louder. My lungs gasping for air. I took another deep breath and as I
breathed I realised she was gone and no matter how much I cried she would never come back to me. My god sent
angel was gone. The reason I kept on pushing through everything was gone. A pain shot down through me, a pain like
no other, I dropped to the floor and hugged her. My body collapsed over her dead lifeless body.
I had to do something with her. I couldn’t keep my Hua dead in a little room. She deserved more. I thought
of the only thing I could think of doing at that moment. In Chinese culture the ocean represents life. It represents a
freedom beyond our morality. I knew I had to let her live on in the beautiful seas. I found a blanket lying in the corner
of the room, I wrapped her all warm and beautiful. She lied there so peaceful not bothered, she looked calm. My hot
tears soaking the blanket draped around her. I slowly walked out of my room and toward the deck of the ship. As I
stood there the cold breeze hitting my face. I could only hope that she would have a better life, a life I couldn’t give
her. The life she truly deserves. I kissed her pale head and as we touched for the last time nothing mattered. My baby
was gone, everything around me disappeared. Once I said my goodbye. I threw her in. I saw her little body fall into the
cold vast ocean. The love I had for her would be an eternal love. In that moment I felt like I died inside. The tears
began falling from my face, the painful screams coming out of my mouth. My chest tightening. I slowly began to walk
away with tears in my eyes. She was gone. She belonged to death now. She was no longer mine.
As I turned away I saw the general who I saved earlier. He kindly looked at me and asked who I was, I told
him: “My name is Mang and I was the maid who saved you,” I said while holding back tears.
He thanked me and asked why I was crying?
“Nothing,” I said.
I ran back to my room. I didn’t want to talk, I could barely say a few words. That night I didn’t sleep, I just
lied there emotionless. Not a tear fell, not a thought passed through my mind. As I woke up the next morning I
promised myself I would continue. For Hua’s sake, I would live the life Hua never got to live.
I was cleaning a lot in the next couple weeks it always got my mind off things. Even back home after having
big fights with Li, cleaning always seemed to get my mind off things. As the week went on I bumped into the general I
saved around three more times. We managed to finally exchange names. He looked so different up close. Beautiful silky
black hair draped over his eyes, perfectly balanced pink lips. His name was Wong Lu. We slowly, slowly began to talk
and talk, more and more. We would bump into each other more often. We would give any excuse to talk to each
other. Over the course of the next month, we began to talk in privacy and meet when we could. Our connection grew.
It grew with every conversation we had. He would sneak into my little room and I would sneak into his. I was still
grieving my daughter but for the first time in a long time, I was happy. It seemed that maybe time was doing its job
right. I was healing. Whether he knew it or not he was helping me heal. He truly accepted me. Our connection grew
deeper as we would meet every night and sneak and have dinner. I remember one memory especially, he was tired and
we both had a long day. He took me to a private spot on top of the ship. We went through dark halls but eventually,
we made it. It was beautiful, the stars shined bright and everything seemed perfect, as we both laid there cuddling,
everything seemed okay. We both fell more and more in love. I loved this man. This was a love I never experienced. A
love I would cherish for a lifetime. This love was an eternal love. This love was easy, there were no bumps. Things
seemed calm but as I soon learned time always takes its course.
We were arriving along the coast of Indonesia and Wong was called to fight. Everyone was preparing for the
huge battle to come. He told me he wanted to stay or we could run away, anything to be with me. He didn’t want to
fight. I told him ‘no’, I made him go to war.