Hong Kong Young Writers Anthologies Fiction 4 - 7 2018 | Page 136

Self Actualization
Sha Tin College, Ho, Michael - 15
I
hate myself. I stare at myself in the mirror in disgust. My ugly, acne-ridden face in itself is already
a nasty sight to behold, but along with my towering height, lanky arms and legs, I am the laughing
stock of my school. Each day, I wake up with a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach, as I
know that I will have to endure yet another day of torment. And, lo and behold, as I have no
friends, there is no one I can rely on to provide me with solace, ever. I did once think I had
friends, but they’d turned on my back and just like the rest of my tormentors, began making
everyday miserable for me.
One day, after yet another miserable day of school, as I was walking home on the route that I always took, I
had a feeling that something was out of place. I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was. I peered
around, observing the squat, unremarkable buildings that lined the side of the street to my left. On
the contrary, beautiful, verdant green hedges rimmed meticulously trimmed grass on the other side
of the street. Behind the grass lay palatial, white houses which were befitting of kings. Okay, maybe
they weren’t that amazing, considering that such ugly buildings were right in front of the houses.
But to me, most houses were luxurious because my mother and I dwelled in a tiny bungalow,
beside, let’s just say, unpleasant neighbours. Don’t get me wrong, but I don’t blame her for that.
My dad had deserted us shortly after I was born, just before I’d had my second birthday. Even
though I was a baby at the time, I remembered enough to know how much I hated his guts. The
smiles that never reached his eyes. The way he told me and my mom that he loved us, yet left one
day, without warning. My mom, who was jobless at the time, had had to find a job quick, lest we
would have been thrown out onto the streets, and I sent to foster care afterwards.
As I was about to round the corner, I noticed a gloomy back alley between two of the ugly buildings which
I did not remember ever seeing before. I tried to forget about it and just go home, but curiosity got
the better of me. There was scarcely enough space for me to shimmy through, but it was sufficient.
After grunting, shimmying, and more grunting, I finally emerged in a recess between the buildings.
“Jake.” A man I hadn’t noticed previously seemed to materialize behind me, out of the gloom.
I yelped, wheeling around to face him. He wore a dapper leather jacket, which matched well with his navy
blue jeans and leather shoes. His hair was buzz-cut and dark as the night. His eyes were raven black had a
hard look to them, and his eyebrows set in a permanent frown.
I swallow my fear and inhale deeply.
“H-How do you know me.” I managed to sputter out.
“That isn’t important right now.” He replied in a deep, baritone voice. “I know you’re having a difficult
time right now, and I’m going to give you a choice.”
I nodded slowly, not sure how else to respond to this man who had nearly given me a heart attack just a few
minutes ago.
He extended a fist. Turning it so that his palm was facing me, he unfurled his fingers, to reveal a tiny white
tablet.
I laughed, the fear I had felt moments ago disappearing as quickly as it had come.
“You’re joking, right?” I sneered. “If you’re going to sell me drugs, you might as well leave. I’m not
desperate enough to kill myself with pills.”
He grabbed me by the shoulders and stared into my eyes so intently, he might as well have been staring into
my soul. I writhed in his grasp, taken off guard by his sudden violence, but to no avail. I tried clawing at his
eyes, since my lanky arms make it difficult to fend for myself in a scuffle, but his hands repositioned to clamp
onto my wrists with a vice-like grip.
“Listen.” He said through gritted teeth. “Dissolve this in water and drink it. This will help with your
unhappiness.”
He shoved the tablet into my coat’s pocket and darted off, through the other end of the alley with his coat
fluttering in the wind.