Hong Kong Young Writers Anthologies Fiction 3 2018 | Page 30

What could I do?
What should I do?
What would he want me to do?
I thought about all those times where I am on the edge of survival, desperate to live, desperate to hide,
desperate for the war to be over.
I thought about all those times where I did unsavory actions, just for another chance to run away again.
I thought about it, and I’m tired.
I’m tired of having to look everywhere I go, not being able to trust anyone, not being able to live a normal
kid life.
I’m tired of having those thoughts that no matter who I come across, they will abandon me in the most
gruesome way possible in the end.
I’m tired of this …
If I’m going to want this to end, I can’t run away anymore.
I have to face my problems head-on.
I know you want me to live brother, but sometimes living is different from being alive and making a
difference in the real realm.
I muster all the energy I could, but every limb inside me is begging for mercy, burning away like the flames
that have shatter our train into another dimension. My vision is starting to fall apart and the weigh seems to
fall more burdensome each second.
But just the realization that if I back down now, the child will be perish into ashes and everything I have
done until now have been anything but impactful left a distasteful feeling in my mouth.
It’s now or never …