Hong Kong Young Writers Anthologies Fiction 2020 | Page 60

Fiction – Group 4 Today is Monday, I came to work at the same time as every other day. No one says hello, no one asks how I am but this is my life and I am here to make money for the Greater Bay Area. I sit down at my computer and begin staring at the pulsating numbers. My thoughts feel like they are burning a hole in my brain, I can’t stop thinking about that woman I saw. I see her in my dreams, it feels like more than just a coincidence. It’s as if my brain is trying to tell me something. Before I knew it, I was wrapped up by all these thoughts and suddenly the office began to feel cramped and claustrophobic, I needed to go on a walk, I needed the fresh air. As I headed downstairs I stared at my phone trying to escape all the pain, when suddenly I bumped into a woman. This woman was identical to the one I saw the other day. She muttered six words, “I am sorry I hurt you,” and just like that she was gone. My world began to spin, suddenly everything I knew felt wrong. All of this felt like more than just a coincidence, I needed to find this woman. She just looked too much like her. All the pain I tried to push down all the memories I pushed away came back. It felt as if I was being stabbed by thousands of needles all over my body and before I knew it, I was crying. I hadn’t cried since she disappeared, it felt like everything I had suppressed for the last four years poured out of me, I cried and cried until I was dry. I cried for what my life could have been, but mostly I cried for her. This time I left work early. I went home and promised myself if I ever saw this woman again I would follow her because right now, she felt like my only hope. I took the metro for exactly 46 minutes on the green line, by 1:00 pm I arrived at my station. By 1:08 pm I was walking the 12 minute journey home. As I walked this 12 minute journey home I saw the woman sitting on a bench as if waiting for someone. I walk up to her, my heart beating a million beats per minute This might be my chance to truly find out what happened to her. All my questions might finally be answered. I walked up to this woman and before I could reach the bench I realised that I was all alone. Today is Tuesday, I get to work at 8:00 am. I sit down and stare at my screen for the next three hours pouring all of my pain towards making money. This is the Greater Bay Area, one of the strongest economic areas after all. It’s 1:30 pm I just finished eating a stale tuna sandwich when the same lady reappears and walks into my office. Once I saw her it was like nothing else mattered I needed to know the truth, I ran up to her and all she said was that I needed a fresh start. I wanted to ask her more questions and just before I could speak to her my co-worker came up to me and asked me a question, and suddenly when I turned around the lady was gone as if she was never there in the first place. I walk back to my desk and just stare at my computer for the next few hours. I felt numb, nothing made sense to me. Its 9:00 pm, I take the metro for exactly 46 minutes on the green line, by 10:00 pm I arrive at my station. By 10:14 pm I am walking the 12 minute journey home. I walk home as quickly as possible, nothing is making sense. I feel crazy, all I want is answers, I knew I had to leave, all the work and the money was never going to be the answer to my pain. Anger works in mysterious ways, it comes from deep within us and attacks when we least expect it. On this Tuesday I came home and before I knew it, I became a different person. I was mad. I was mad at my past, at my wife and at what my life had become. Screams crawled out of my chest and echoed through my house. I smashed everything; all my wife’s old vases, all the pictures hanging on the wall. She isn’t alive anymore I have to let go and stop hanging on to the past. I turn around and standing there is the same lady that has been appearing all week, all she says is “congratulations, you can finally move on.” That night I left. I left my home, I left my job and I left the Greater Bay Area, I left the place that was home. Deep down I knew the moment that she walked out on our argument and never came back, that was when the Greater Bay Area stopped feeling like home. After that night I never came back I left every morsel of my past there. 121