I kept writing as if one had an immense amount of control
over how relationships are chosen. Indeed, we may become
picky with our close friendships, desiring only to get closer to
people we truly love spending time with. But how many stories
do you have in which you’ve grown closer to others by
accident? How did you expect to forge your relationships in
college, and how surprised were you when they did not turn
out at all in the way you expected? “Surprised” might not be
the word that comes to mind—maybe grateful is a better one.
These wonderful, close friends become integral to our lives,
like a sunspot that hits us on a cold day, warming us up amidst
the frost. It’s such a sweet feeling—one that we would rather
not give up. Sometimes we’re bad at making sure these relationships
thrive, and sometimes we’re bad at even starting any
new ones at all. In friendship, it is easy to not know how to
open up honestly with one another. We prioritize the wrong
things to talk about. God calls us to have friendships that matter,
but often we ignore this advice. When we do start to trek
into that unfamiliar territory of vulnerability, we stumble. We
overshare, we share too little, we do not engage with what
the other is saying, we make up excuses of why we cannot
meet up with one another, and then all of a sudden, we just
stop listening all together. We’re the only ones talking. So, our
friendships crumble.
But crumbling does not mean that a friendship has ended.
There is miscommunication, hurt feelings, unspoken words,
but all of these and many more are resolvable. It takes time. It
takes prayer. It takes a level of trust that is difficult to step into,
but to receive a text like “I am thinking of you,” is so simple
yet filled with such remarkable joy. I missed talking to her.
Amidst losing family members to COVID-19, struggling with
online classes, and desperately scrambling to replace my cancelled
internship, I found that having just one friendship open
up once more was the best thing that could have happened
during this pandemic. It is beautiful and cathartic to
reconnect with someone that you should have laughed with
and spoken to a long time ago.
God put people in your life for so many reasons. Every interaction
you have had is no accident, and each one continues
to build you up in unique ways—some of which we don’t yet
see. God desires and intends for all of us to grow up in fellowship
and in community with one another. When God made
us in His image and likeness, He wanted each of us to reflect
who He is. To reflect the character of our Creator is to reflect
love. To put that into practice is to build meaningful connections.
Trusting God is a multifaceted idea that is simple in word,
difficult in practice. A new facet that I have learned is trusting
that He is even guiding my social life. Every person I meet is
someone that matters deeply to God, and so I must trust that
every friendship I build is guided by His hand. While we are
flawed human beings with insecurities that affect our relationships,
we must trust that God created each of us with the same
spirit of giving, of loving, and of unconditionally caring for
each other in the hardest of times. Times like these, perhaps.
It’s always a good idea to reach out to someone and let them
know they are loved. It is never wrong. More importantly, I’d
It is beautiful and cathartic to
reconnect with someone that you
should have laughed with and
spoken to a long time ago.
like to stress further that you have always been loved and
have always had access to a friendship that you may not have
even been aware of. You have many friends and significant
relationships, but there is one that is even greater and sweeter
than a sunspot on a cold day.
There are many examples I like to share about the beauty of
friendship, but my favorite ones come from the Bible. They
feel unexpected, as if I somehow thought that a social life is
not outlined in the Bible, but God knows how important and
how fundamental it is for us to forge strong connections with
others. In John 15, a man named Jesus Christ, the son of God,
addresses His followers and calls them His friends. By calling
them His friends, he endorses the nature of friendship and
encourages them to pursue it. He is not talking to them in a
static point of time; His words resonate to us in the present.
He wants us to realize, in full, what being in a loving
friendship is like. We find such fulfilling relationships with
people from all walks of life, and yet Jesus tells us of a unique
friendship that means much more: the one we have with our
Creator.
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