“
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I think wanting to be like everyone else is something you
experience in your youth, and as I’ve matured, I realize that
whatever it is that makes you stand out from the crowd is
the very thing that makes you special.
Thai and if I could speak Thai - all while I was within earshot,
of course. And when she told them yes on both counts, they
would just smile at me, and talk to me really slowly and loudly as if I was a child. It made me feel even more like an alien
when I couldn’t even be accepted in a country that is part
of my heritage. Why are we so quick to notice and point out
each other’s differences?
When I was a sophomore in college, there was a student in
my I.T. class who would study with me sometimes and occasionally we’d grab lunch or hang out. He was from Bolivia
and he would always tease me by speaking Spanish to me
and saying, “I know you know what I said. Stop pretending. You’re totally Hispanic. Why are you trying to hide?”
And then he would laugh when I would get irritated, as if I
couldn’t possibly know who I am or where I come from.
Memories like those still get to me, at the ripe old age of 32.
I’ve always thought that who you are as a person is more
important than what country you or your parents are from,
but it seemed that everyone I met was so focused on it and
I couldn’t escape it. I became very uncomfortable when
meeting new people, always inwardly cringing and waiting
for the questions or comments to begin. I eventually learned
to get some of my own digs in and when someone would
rudely ask me where I was from, I would just answer, with a
great big smile, “Virginia.”
them the confidence to be who they are. At the ages of 6
and 4, they are still a little young to be pondering their place
in the world. But as they get a little older and become more
self-aware, I want them to embrace their identities and know
that they truly belong wherever it is that they want to belong.
I also want them to know that their racial identity is only
a small part of who they are. Their experiences, instincts,
personality, knowledge, quirks, and passions - these are the
things that will help them navigate their way through life.
And if there’s any message that I can pass on to others, it’s
this: we’re all human. No one likes feeling as if they are a
specimen under a microscope. Be open. Be welcoming. The
next time you meet someone, instead of asking, “Where are
you from?” or worse yet, “What are you?” - try asking them,
“Who are you? What makes you unique?” I think you’d be
pleasantly surprised by the answers you receive.
As for me, I’m a woman who is finally comfortable in her own
skin. A wife, a mother, a friend. I’m a avid reader, an aspiring
writer, a lover of cheesy movies. And if you must know, I’m
from Virginia. ✴
Funny enough, it was an article in a teenybopper magazine
that I read that provided a huge revelation. It was an interview with the actress Kristin Kreuk (from Smallville, if you
remember that show) in which she talked about her Chinese and Dutch heritage and described herself as Eurasian. When I read that word, it blew me away. ‘That’s ME!’,
I thought. As I did more research, I began to find articles
and photos of people who looked just like me. (Side note,
did you know Mark-Paul Gosselaar is Eurasian?) Finding
a community of people who made me feel included, let me
know that there are other people in the world who understand my struggle with racial identity.
As I’ve gotten older, I have finally become comfortable in
my own skin. I focus less on that feeling of not fitting in,
and more on embracing my uniqueness. I think wanting to
be like everyone else is something you experience in your
youth, and as I’ve matured, I realize that whatever it is that
makes you stand out from the crowd is the very thing that
makes you special.
Now that I’m a mom of 2 Eurasian children, I want to teach
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