9
It's Gone
Prose - 434 Q1
This piece was written during the first quarter and I wanted to revise it and improve it. I chose it for my semester portfolio because it’s a very personal piece that had a lot of room for improvement. This piece is using Miguel Hidalgo (a national hero) as the narrator describing how corruption and greed has overtaken Mexico. It was inspired during an generation trip to Guadalajara’s cultural area. Here we went to the Palacio Municipal where there’s a huge painting of Hidalgo holding a burning torch in his hand fight for the independence of his people. The piece developed fluidly because the idea flourished when I saw his determined gaze in the painting.
In my mind the piece always had the same structure and storyline, where Hidalgo has been observing the government rot from the inside out. Originally the piece was a page long and one of my goals was to make it longer and much more descriptive, emphasizing on key points, for example Peña Nietos hair. I really like this piece because it was originally a challenge since I wasn’t motivated by this assignment, because of my growing resentment towards the government, so there was no way I was going to write them a tribute.
There’s still some parts that could be more descriptive but I can’t find a way to do so, “I’ve seen them plotting and stealing, lying and cheating.” I’m aware that instead of listing them I could be able to describe them, but whenever I try doing so it sounds repetitive and monotone. On the other hand, I feel this piece carries my voice and thoughts clearly and in a very powerful way, especially the ending (which I normally have a hard time doing): “My people are scared, they are afraid of asking questions the tyrants don’t want to answer. They are afraid to fight for freedom of press, for knowledge. They are afraid to ask for what they deserve. They are afraid of being silenced, even though they already don’t have a voice.”