When I think back on the month of March and April of this year, I can see that my Father had everything carefully laid out. I truly believe that He doesn’t cause disease and death but He knows what’s coming and will walk it out with us.
My sisters and I took care of our mom during the final weeks of her life. This was so hard and still is a very raw place in my heart. This was a totally unexpected diagnosis. Mom was recovering from a broken ankle and wanted to get back to her painting and beading crafts. Then she was told she had about 4 weeks left on this earth due to widespread metastasized cancer.
So her plans were cut short. That’s when I had to intentionally take my plans for her to Jesus. I just couldn’t handle that much responsibility. Daily, I had to place my upcoming responsibilities in His hands. He knew I couldn’t control everything.
I am the oldest of 9 and I have been blessed with brothers and sisters who walked this out with grace with me and we were always available for mom and for each other. But being the oldest holds some extra responsibility.
I had to trust Him.
I had to find some peace in the middle of this tumultuous month.
I often turned to God and His Word for some rest from this extreme busyness. My Father left me many words to assure me of His closeness while we were walking out that particular season.
He loves me and you so much and so intimately that He left us many, many words of encouragement for when we go through these very difficult times.
1 Peter 5:7 tells us to “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (NIV)
There were times, especially during the quiet of the night when I would wake up and wonder if he was really there for me. I could relate to the psalmist in Psalm 119:82, "My eyes grow heavy watching for some sign of your promise; how long must I wait for your comfort?”(MSG) I would open my Bible and always found words of comfort.
In the weeks following her leaving here for her place with Jesus, I still have to rely totally on Him. Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed with all the things I have to do to settle her affairs. She did a lot while she was still alive and that made it so much easier for me but there were some little details that are still important that I have to sort through.
Even with all of this, my Abba Father is still with me. He has been the only true, reliable, faithful, trustworthy, Father I have had in my lifetime. He has never abandoned me, hurt me, ridiculed me, condemned me or done anything to cause shame or guilt. Joshua 1:5 says, “No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (NIV) But there are at least 3 more Scripture verses that say the same things, using almost the same words.