DEFERENCE SHOWN TOWARDS HUSBANDS 339
The women, on the other hand, are so thoroughly accustomed to harsh and domineering treatment from their husbands that they would be quite annoyed if the husbands adopted a more familiar tone. I once knew a native lady who complained bitterly that her husband sometimes
affected to be very devoted to her in public and allowed himself such little familiarities as are looked upon by us
'
as marks of affection. Such behaviour,' said she, covers ' me with shame and confusion. I dare not show myself anywhere. Did any one ever see such bad manners amongst people of our caste? Has he become a Feringhi( European), and does he take me for one of their vile
women i I
As a rule a husband addresses his wife in terms which show how little he thinks of her. Servant, slave, & c, and
other equally flattering appellations, fall quite naturally
from his lips.
A woman, on the other hand, never addresses her husband except in terms of the greatest humility. She speaks to him as my master, my lord, and even sometimes my god.
In her awe of him she does not venture to call him by his name
; and should she forget herself in this way in amoment
of anger, she would be thought a very low class of person, and would lay herself open to personal chastisement from her offended spouse. She must be just as particular in speaking of him to any one else: indeed, the Hindus are very careful never to put a woman under the necessity of mentioning her husband by name. If by chance a European, who is unacquainted with this point of etiquette, obliges her to do so, he will see her blush and hide her face behind her sari and turn away without answering, smiling at the same time with contemptuous pity at such ignorance.
Politeness also forbids you to address a person of higher rank by his name.
But if women enjoy very little consideration in private life, they are in some degree compensated by the respect
1
It may be noted that at marriage feasts, & c., the males and females keep apart; and furthermore the usual personal invitations to such feasts are invariably conveyed to men by men, and to women by women.— Ed.